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Posts Tagged ‘John Pistole’

Wile E. Coyote Playbook

November 22nd, 2010 No comments

link Enhanced pat-downs necessary for now, TSA chief says – CNN.com.

Neccessary? As if.  It’s as clear an admission of institutionalized idiocy as anything uttered since someone insisted icebergs were disappearing.   On the latter issue, at least those words were famously offered by a particular politician, so we all knew it was unvarnished poop despite the massive worldwide propaganda campaign.  (Incidentally we probably won’t hear much about global warming for a few months because all of the concerned protestors are off skiing at Val D’Isere enjoying the record snowfall)   In this particular case, the decree has come from the TSA,  a Frankenstein government agency that has morphed from defending the public to one that itself is terrorizing the public.  Another descent into a real life George Orwell novel.

Since this is an agency policy, political parties on both sides are reluctant to reign them in since woe be to the party that publicly opposes the TSA should any grief happen.  That party will be painted as being responsible for any ill fate that may befall anyone and all of a sudden, it’s a partisan issue. By now, numerous stories have exploded into the public space about the Mexican prison style searches now being administered by the TSA in under the cover of security.  People can search and read for themselves about the outrageous and invasive manner in which the public’s collective safety is being protected and make up their own minds.  Suffice to say, as someone commented, on a date it would be called second base. 

The alarming fact that no one seems to be willing to reign in the tactics and deeds of this domestic terror organization should disturb everyone.  There should be a bi-partisan push to bring back into line an agency which seems to be responsible to no one.  At the moment, the decrees of an unelected bureaucrat, John Pistole are carried out without pushback except for the vocal protests of Ron Paul, a Texas congressman.  We know for an absolute certainty that there are numerous other effective and more importantly, intelligent ways to truly shield air passengers from harm.  As most know, the Israelis are very adept at assessing risk by individual interviews and evaluating traveller profiles.  Of course the politically misguided fear of being labelled profilers trumps any concession to common sense in employing these same techniques over here.  Consequently, we are more willing to infringe upon the privacy of the innocent public as well as physically assault them rather than risk the scarlet letter of profiling. 

Certainly, the job of security could me made so much easier if all the terrorists had a consistent, identifiable profile.  If only they were all the same race, age and sex and whose flights originated from the middle east or North Africa.  If only they had the same religious affiliation and haircut.  If only this small group stood out conspicuously from the rest of the population.  If only there wasn’t a history of Grandmothers, children, goofy teenagers and frequent business travellers who consistently pose dangerous risks.  Yes, it’s too bad that the methods employed now are the ‘best techniques’ we have today to blunt attempted attacks. Playing real life whack-a-mole with obviously benign travellers is the best way to stop would-be terrorists.  And finally, it’s a good thing these tactics have captured every attempt in the past.  These are the brilliant techniques used today by an agency using tens of billions of dollars.  This apparently represents the acme of American ingenuity and intelligence. 

If this were all about safety and not about politically correct security Kabuki, it would make far more sense for ALL air travellers to be medicated with rophynol before all flights and then loaded like baggage  onto storage racks aboard the aircraft.  That way, all checks can be avoided, aircraft can carry many more passengers and they wouldn’t even need airline stewards.  You wouldn’t even need airlines, just FedEx or UPS.  How is this much more grotesque than the stupidity being imposed on people today?  You just can’t help but think that we have the genius of Wile E. Coyote running the TSA.  Like him, billions of dollars are spent to create elaborate contraptions to do something very simple.  He never catches the frickin bird.

Vaccinations Extra

November 16th, 2010 No comments

link Watch ‘Don’t Touch My Junk’: YouTube Body Scan Video Goes Viral | infotainment video actress.

We’ve been discussing the inanity of this for months and now inanity has given way to insanity.   http://asiftimes.com/2010/01/09/airport-scanners-can-measure-my-penis/   When that was written, the ideas may have seemed ahead of their time to skeptics, but now, we are very close to having this become a reality.  Well, good news for those looking to make lemonade out of lemons.  We have some ideas on how to best survive this fun time in the flying industry. 

John Pistole, the present head of the TSA, and when I say present, I mean for the next 10 days because he has made comments so utterly moronic, that only “firing the Pistole” can save those in government who hired this guy in the first place.  But first, let’s have a look at pragmatically using the present circumstances to the best benefit.  As we all know by now, the process of screening has morphed from merely annoying frisking to outright invasive groping. Teachers in school aren’t even allowed to comfort little kids who are crying, but somehow allowing some stranger to grope you is necessary to prove a liberal, tolerant society.  We must take your freedoms to give everyone freedom.  Hmmm.   Until someone in influence decides that this may not be a good thing, how about killing many birds with one stone? 

If we’re going to have all kinds of bodily groping anyway, why not create medical stations at airports which would then also double as security points?  Most men are guilty of not going for regular physicals including the all important prostate exam.  This could be a life saver for lazy men.  “Turn to the left…cough please…you may feel a slight discomfort..” and it’s done!  In the case of women, they could do cancer screening and pap smears in their own segregated areas.  Naturally, you can’t have the TSA hires do this,  so you’d have to lay off 80% of them.  The positive is that jobs are created at airports for thousands of medical personnel.

Getting back to our hero Mr. Pistole, his take on the security measures being thrust on the public is this: 

“…it is irresponsible for a group to suggest travelers opt out of the very screening that may prevent an attack using non-metallic explosives…” and, “…if they don’t like it, they don’t have to fly…”

If only the underwear bomber had the idea of stuffing his anal cavity instead of just having stuff in his undies, we might all have to assume the position in front of the brave TSA staff today.  If someone had the idea of trying to blow up a football stadium or a  Justin Bieber concert, would people be obligated to be fondled at all those events too?  What if someone tried to take out a shopping center or food store?  If people don’t like it, they don’t have to shop…or  eat?   What if a popular restaurant district was targeted?  Would we need to strip search people who only wanted a big salad?  What if someone decided a residential neighborhood was a good place to blow up some buildings?  Would that entitle a search of every house for explosives?   Geniuses like Pistole are the face of rampant unchecked stupido.  Hopefully it will dawn on him or his ‘superiors’ that the extremists are already laughing over their complete victory of terrorizing the west….we’re doing it to ourselves.

Update:  Even the Taiwanese are making fun of us  http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_461991&v=TBL3ux1o0tM&