Vaccinations Extra
link Watch ‘Don’t Touch My Junk’: YouTube Body Scan Video Goes Viral | infotainment video actress.
We’ve been discussing the inanity of this for months and now inanity has given way to insanity. http://asiftimes.com/2010/01/09/airport-scanners-can-measure-my-penis/ When that was written, the ideas may have seemed ahead of their time to skeptics, but now, we are very close to having this become a reality. Well, good news for those looking to make lemonade out of lemons. We have some ideas on how to best survive this fun time in the flying industry.
John Pistole, the present head of the TSA, and when I say present, I mean for the next 10 days because he has made comments so utterly moronic, that only “firing the Pistole” can save those in government who hired this guy in the first place. But first, let’s have a look at pragmatically using the present circumstances to the best benefit. As we all know by now, the process of screening has morphed from merely annoying frisking to outright invasive groping. Teachers in school aren’t even allowed to comfort little kids who are crying, but somehow allowing some stranger to grope you is necessary to prove a liberal, tolerant society. We must take your freedoms to give everyone freedom. Hmmm. Until someone in influence decides that this may not be a good thing, how about killing many birds with one stone?
If we’re going to have all kinds of bodily groping anyway, why not create medical stations at airports which would then also double as security points? Most men are guilty of not going for regular physicals including the all important prostate exam. This could be a life saver for lazy men. “Turn to the left…cough please…you may feel a slight discomfort..” and it’s done! In the case of women, they could do cancer screening and pap smears in their own segregated areas. Naturally, you can’t have the TSA hires do this, so you’d have to lay off 80% of them. The positive is that jobs are created at airports for thousands of medical personnel.
Getting back to our hero Mr. Pistole, his take on the security measures being thrust on the public is this:
“…it is irresponsible for a group to suggest travelers opt out of the very screening that may prevent an attack using non-metallic explosives…” and, “…if they don’t like it, they don’t have to fly…”
If only the underwear bomber had the idea of stuffing his anal cavity instead of just having stuff in his undies, we might all have to assume the position in front of the brave TSA staff today. If someone had the idea of trying to blow up a football stadium or a Justin Bieber concert, would people be obligated to be fondled at all those events too? What if someone tried to take out a shopping center or food store? If people don’t like it, they don’t have to shop…or eat? What if a popular restaurant district was targeted? Would we need to strip search people who only wanted a big salad? What if someone decided a residential neighborhood was a good place to blow up some buildings? Would that entitle a search of every house for explosives? Geniuses like Pistole are the face of rampant unchecked stupido. Hopefully it will dawn on him or his ‘superiors’ that the extremists are already laughing over their complete victory of terrorizing the west….we’re doing it to ourselves.
Update: Even the Taiwanese are making fun of us http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_461991&v=TBL3ux1o0tM&