As IF Times

link The mysterious case of Sherlock with a six-pack – Film – Entertainment

Since this is movie season, we are once again exposed to Hollywood’s latest servings of culture and entertainment. The blockbuster film and must see this season is Avatar, a truly massive undertaking of production rumored to have cost over 200 million dollars to create. The early reviews are effusive and gushing for the CG effects and attention to detail in the 3-D format. For greater than 200 REAL large, I guess you’d better get more than actors in rubber masks. In regards to the story line, the opinions are a bit more mixed as some see the plot as a thinly veiled allegory to Americans’ appetite for oil.

I suppose that’s possible and given Hollywood’s leanings over the past generation, probable. However, it would be nice to have entertainment for the sake of entertainment without the sanctimony. It would be nice if the Wizard of Oz was just a puffed up insecure egotist and not an allegory of Adolf Hitler, but maybe that’s my age showing.

It does bear mentioning that the best stories/movies in history have something to say about the human condition, that speak to common experiences and emotions of everyone. Timeless movies explore human frailties and also achievements of spirit. Many movies of the past decade fall into the category of visual stimulation, akin to watching a pinball game for 90 minutes. Junk food movies essentially. How many times can you watch cars blow up or someone kung fu 20 people and still have his hat on?

Incidentally, as much as Hollywood loves to paint their their projects as high art, it is useful to observe how much of what comes out, isn’t. In fact, it’s amusing to see how much of the product is re-packaged cliches. When you consider some of the questionable offerings for the mass eyeball market, it’s as if there’s a big cut and paste studio somewhere in Burbank that spits them all out.

It’s well known by everyone by now that in movies and on TV, a shopping bag will always have a stick of french bread protruding from the top, but the things I refer to are more particular to our present culture and time.

For instance, notice that anytime someone is working on a computer, it’s always a notebook and it’s always an Apple.

Notice that most men have the unkempt/unwashed hair look regardless of their station in society. Related to this, notice that men are portrayed as shaver challenged, appearing scruffy in all aspects of life. This is the case even in Mcdonald’s commercials. Not sure how that creates empathy. Interestingly this may create a self fullfilling prophecy as men who watch these images think it’s alright to be slobs and thus life imitates art.

Notice that all people somehow are competent martial arts experts regardless of actual job, age or sex. As observed in the link at the top of the page, notice that all the protagonists have buff physiques, especially the particular fascination with six pack abs. Of course, during a fight scene, somehow our hero is stripped to the waist to display this. Even Sherlock Holmes!! How did he find time to do crunches while smoking his pipe and all that deducing? If movies are really a reflection of society, historians years from now will deduce that all men subscribed to Men’s Health and worked out in the mornings before the beginning of a crime fighting day.

Notice that office buildings are lit darkly to provide maximum dramatic effect as if fluorescent tubes didn’t exist. This is especially amusing in autopsy type scenes. I’m sure most forensic activities take place in the dramatic glow of a 40 watt bulb. And the forensic doc is always a babe.

Notice that the always short tempered and hard nosed police sergeant is a black man or woman that loves to collect people’s behinds like charms on a bracelet. All police detectives are just this far away from being canned.

Notice that geeky kids are always articulate and are able to hack into FBI/CIA computers with the aforementioned Apple pc. The more articulate/geeky and troubled the hero, the more attractive they are to the heroine. Wonder if there’s some projection on the part of writers and producers….

The President of the United States is always portrayed as this god like character with sage like utterances surrounded by humorless G men. In reality, during ANY administration, the man in office is just another politician loathed by most.

The future is always portrayed as a dark and bleak place where a dehumanizing big brother environment is the norm. As if that can happen….

And let’s not even talk about sequels.

link Matthew DeBord: Tiger Woods Is So, So, So Much Bigger Than Golf

As if. So much ink has been spilled on the recently exposed adventures of Eldrick Woods that I’ve avoided adding any more to the pool of opinions out in Lake Tsk Tsk. This piece however, begs to be exposed as hyperbole of the worst kind:

“…But I will talk about golf. Specifically, the delusional notion, put forward by many pros, commentators, experts, and pundits, that the game is bigger than Tiger and will survive, recover, thrive. Um, no. The game is in no way bigger than Tiger. In fact, Tiger is so immensely, hugely, ginormously larger than mere golf that golf may never recover from this monumental fall from grace….”

Cue to stop laughing. A few clicks on google will show that there have been purported instances of golf since 1750 and some even claim as far back as 1450. Certainly, in the 1860’s in Scotland, Old Tom Morris (not to be confused with young Tom, differentiated by beard length ) was the Tiger of his time; minus the sponsors but arguably sartorially superior. Any real fan of golf will know the names of Vardon, Sarazen, Jones, Nelson and of course in recent times, the great Palmer and Nicklaus. Now I’m not saying this kid Tiger has no talent, but despite the Golf Channel’s MTVish spin on it, Tiger was not responsible for the popularity of golf, the related golf course development industry, the charity associations or the ongoing interest of addicted men (mostly) to the game. We cannot deny Tiger’s influence on purse sizes and no doubt, this will be affected in the short term, but golf was fine as a pursuit before Tiger made it “cool” and will continue to be so in the years to come. Middle aged men don’t care about cool. Has anyone noticed some of the pants they wear, some of which resemble eye tests and bring on nausea if stared at for too long?

The emergence of Tiger’s dominance of the game combined with the genius of Nike recognizing this talent at an early age has pushed the game of golf into the realm of everyman…and this was not the case before. If fact, this may not even be desirable. I think the author of the article really means that marketing ICON Tiger Woods is at jeopardy, not the game of golf. Using anecdotal evidence based on that dependable source, namely me, most golf shops and pro shops will tell you that traditional golf equipment suppliers still command the spending of real golfers. Nike has certainly made inroads into the equipment business, but most pros, given their own choice stick with Titleist, Callaway or Taylor Made, the established gear makers. The area where Nike cleans up with Tiger are shoes and apparel. This is the youth market that Nike really wants and Tiger’s popularity was key to their sales to this constituency. Ironically, Tiger’s attire on course was downright dull.

The author goes on to say:

“….I’ve seen Tiger Woods stride a golf course and strike golf balls several times, and it was a special thing. He did outshine the myriads though bright. A frightening yet seductive luminosity emanated from the guy….”

What is he? Chris Matthews describing the president?

Again, there can be no doubt as to Tiger’s golf accomplishments, because many have been truly memorable especially in the heat of competition. But during these times in which we live, where every move is replayed, analyzed and broadcast again and again with reverential description by all manner of media types has contributed as much to the legend as the deeds themselves. Old Tom probably only had his competitors, a few fans and a phalanx of sheep herders in which to pass on his golfing genius. Even then, after the last pint was finished at the pub afterwards, the stories were probably forgotten. There was no Golf Channel in those days to replay the feather ball gasping into the hole.

Tiger’s been great for the game of golf, but his bigger strength is as a promoter for products or whatever cause has been crafted for him. Tiger’s woes appear self inflicted and some sponsors bravely put on the “full support” facade. But this is business; someone else will come along to be star spokesmodel…probably soon. Greater than golf? Please.

Since I’m not sure if I will be inspired by another infuriating article before Christmas, I end this missive with a poem sent to me, author unknown, which captures Mr. Woods’ saga. It’s not just highbrow stuff here. With apologies to the traditionalists:

TIGER WOODS
> CHRISTMAS POEM
>
>
> ‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
> Tiger
> Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
>
> She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
> Cause a
> bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
>
> He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
> Woman
> after woman stepped up and confessed.
>
> He’d
> been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
> With Joselyn, and
> Kalika. The world had the story.
>
> From the
> top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
> Tiger’s sad sordid tale was
> all over the news.
>
> With hostesses,
> waitresses, he had lots of sex,
> When not in their pants, he was sendin’
> them texts.
>
> Despite all his cryin’ and
> beggin’ and pleadin’,
> Tiger’s wife went investin’ in a new home in
> Sweden.
>
> And I heard her exclaim from her
> white Escalade,
> “If you’re gettin’ laid, then I’m gettin’ paid.”
>
>
> She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly
> good cheer,
> Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this
> year.
>