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We’re Doomed!

January 12th, 2010 1 comment

link Audiences experience ‘Avatar’ blues – CNN.com

I can’t make this stuff up, this material streams in and just begs for comment. CNN reports that an online web site called “Avatar Forums” have people expressing feelings of sadness or depression because they cannot live in a world as beautiful and perfect as depicted in the movie “Avatar”. A writer by the name of Mike:

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ”

Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality:

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

As an aside, the writer is 17 years old. Everything that he’s “done and worked for” may include math and english homework as well as a half finished collection of Pokemon cards. Of course he does live in Sweden, so the 11 month winter may be getting to him.

If these heart wrenching sentiments don’t crown James Cameron as the greatest filmmaker of all time, I’ll be the uncle of monkeys. To be able to craft a movie so rich in convincing detail, that people are tempted to off themselves because reality is so miserable is unprecedented to my knowledge. Heads up to the lawyers, Cameron will need a team of you guys when the lawsuits come pouring in for wrongful death suits.

Maybe people like this unfortunate young man should stop believing the biased propaganda that is being peddled by governments and media alike. Under the cover of science we are constantly fed a bleak stream of negative and alarmist views. The looming horror of global warming, imminent nuclear warfare, disappearing forests, depleted fish stocks, missing polar bears, African killer bees, spread of AIDS, hijackings of ships, oil prices soaring, rain forests shrinking, violent drug wars, airplane terrorism, excessive salt intake. He has to stop watching MSNBC.

If his bleak assessment of the state of the world is based on the diet of information fed to him at school, maybe the education system should stop sourcing texts from the Goth School collection; maybe turn a few lights on at the school.

Back in the 60’s there was an campy TV series called Lost In Space, whose special effects didn’t quite approach the richness of Cameron’s epic. One of the characters, Dr. Zachary Smith, was notable for his eternal pessimism and on nearly every episode, he was able to wail, “We’re doomed I tell you, doomed!” This guy was way ahead of his time.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

January 11th, 2010 No comments

link NYC Asks Food Manufacturers To Cut Salt Content – wcbstv.com

It’s getting tougher and tougher to keep on the right side of the modern politically correct, nanny culture that we’ve all embraced. It was bad enough that scientists have disparaged all manner and type of enjoyment, confection and amusement because of perceived detrimental effects. I guess you could argue that to demonize smokers was a good thing, since the idea of inhaling fumes that had just been in someone else’s lungs is pretty icky. Not to mention that smokers in general tend to be a slovenly lot, casting their spent butt ends all over the place. Is there anything more disgusting than looking at cigarette butts crushed into the remnants of a dish at the end of a meal?

But over the years, if you’ve avoided all the things that the authorities have claimed are bad for you, it’s possible you would not be alive, having died of malnutrition. Over the past few decades, the list of tsk tsk items have included:

eggs, coffee, milk, white bread, red meats, cheese, fish, shellfish, butter, ice cream, potato chips, cookies, candy, donuts, fried chicken, french fries and “fast food” in general. Hmm this looks like my weekly shopping list.

Oddly, many modern diets have espoused the virtues of eggs and red meats for their high protein benefits and coffee has seen a resurgence as a beneficial food as well as fish and of course the fast food at Subway. Just ask Jared. Strangely, margarine at one time was touted as preferable to butter, now we’ve swung back the other way. You seldom see any cooking shows or recipes calling for margarine in their mix.

Where it gets a little dicey are the arcane constituents of foods. For instance, fats per se aren’t bad for you, only certain trans and mono fats whatever those are. Maybe it’s no coincidence that Emeril Lagasse does not have a show on the Food Network anymore. I recall he never met a fat he didn’t like.

So now, the guardians of our well being (at least in NY) are pushing to move SALT from our diets. Apparently, we ingest far too much salt in forms we don’t even realize and this leads us towards the health out of bounds markers. So pressing is this crisis that they will eventually make it illegal for restaurants and food companies to exceed certain salt levels in their products. In other words, save us from ourselves, like it or not.

Boy, this is going to spur some changes in our society. Like smokers, willful salt ingesters will have to huddle in doorways outside of buildings sprinkling salt on their meals. There of course will be new camaraderies as people share shakers like lighters. Of course, people will try to quit, but can’t, therefore salt patches will be available for those who are weak. Naturally, there will be large letter warnings on salt packages and minors will not be able to obtain them.

There may be the emergence of underground restaurants where they freely use salt and other seasonings, like the speakeasies of old where you have to whisper, “Charlie sent me” through a sliding slot in a door to get in. The companies that make shakers will be severely squeezed since now only pepper shakers are acceptable on dining tables. With the passage of time and the acceptance of salt as socially evil, even common speech aphorisms will have to be modified. Someone is now the “oregano of the earth”, or we will consider someones opinions with ” a grain of nutmeg”. I’m sure it’ll sound better in 10 years.