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Can You Hear Me Now?

December 30th, 2009 No comments

link DailyTech – Reports: Google’s Nexus One Price, ETFs, and Contract Details Leak

As hard as it is to believe, it was over 130 years ago in 1876, that US patent numbers 161,739 and 174,465 were issued to an American inventor that would contribute to arguably the most dynamic industry in history. Alexander Graham Bell, widely given credit for the invention of this device, started the whole ball rolling with the benign statement, at least for its time, “Watson, come here, I want you”. The Watson referred to was no slouch himself going on to later found a small business machine company which grew a bit into a company today known as IBM.

The telephone was invented. Over the next hundred plus years, every manner of contrivance was implemented to squeeze money from a public eager to talk and talk and then talk some more. In fact, some say that the phenomenon of the teenager would have been impossible were it not for the telephone’s invention. Morse coding your squeeze after a hot date wasn’t practical and spelling errors were problematic. “What did he mean by 2 dots? Did he mean 3 dots? or a dash?”

The first phone company, American Telephone and Telegraph had what many had assumed to be a lock on permanent revenue. How that got screwed up is another discussion, but suffice to say, with the evolution from communal phones, to private phones in homes, to public pay phones, there was a penny to made at every step. It wasn’t that long ago that if a long distance call came in, you would first be prompted to accept the charge by an operator and then the whole room went silent as this expensive call was taken. Phones were essential to any modern home in those days and it often occupied a prominent place in the house. The idea of convenience and portability in those days was a 30 foot cord.

Fast forward to our modern lives where cell phones are as common as nipples on a cow. Everyone has one, or two or six. Little kids have them as well as the elderly. Naturally business people require them and of course teenagers have them. In third world countries where there’s no running water or cable TV, the villagers have them. But a phone isn’t just a phone any more; how quaint would that be? Can you imagine kids in 1970 getting excited about getting a phone for Christmas?

No sir. Phones today are mini computers capable of collecting and transmitting not only voice, but also data. Pictures are sent, word files are stored. These devices can not only inform, but embarrass, just ask Tiger. Phones today have exceeded the capability of personal computers of just 10 years ago. Manufacturer Sony Ericsson has a ‘smart phone’ that approaches $900! Google has a product called Android which will compete with Iphone which competes with Blackberry.
Tech blogs wax breathlessly about the release of the new latest gizmo because…well…because…it’s newer and better!

According to a tech research outfit, Wintergreen Research, the worldwide telecommunications market including wireless handsets are set for extraordinary growth, doubling from $123 billion in 2004 to $282 billion in 2010. This piece was done presumably a few years ago, before the invention of the newer, costlier gizmos.

The classic advice for any salesperson is to point out features, but explain benefits. With the new phone devices these days, they’re all features but murky on the marginal benefits to the old phone. In fact, we’re seeing smart phones and dumb people. Is this really an empowerment of man’s innate need to communicate or is it just proof that people will buy anything as long as it’s new?

Who could have possibly imagined the lengths we’d go to just to gab about mainly nothing. The biggest irony is, most phones now are geared to allow people to communicate by TEXT not voice!! These days, when someone texts “Come here Watson, I want you”, it has a whole new meaning…and usually is accompanied by pictures.

So never mind banking bailouts, buy PHONES!

Polluting pets: the devastating impact of man’s best friend

December 22nd, 2009 No comments

link Polluting pets: the devastating impact of man’s best friend – Yahoo! News

Headline– “PARIS (AFP) – Man’s best friend could be one of the environment’s worst enemies, according to a new study which says the carbon pawprint of a pet dog is more than double that of a gas-guzzling sports utility vehicle…”

The Asians were way ahead of the curve on global warming. Turns out that having Rover or Spike on the daily specials list at McHubei’s is not only environmentally commendable but also way ahead of the curve. If you think about it, noshing on all sorts of household domestic fru frus can be a great two-fer. One, it solves global warming and two, it can alleviate world hunger.

The proliferation of cooking shows on TV these days needs some new sizzle to their tired menu items. How many times can you make beef, chicken or pork? We can now expect variations of chien-au-vin and Schnauzer schnitzel with Bobby Flay. Naturally, we’d prefer the wild pets, not farm raised. The expression, “I feel like a dog today” will have a whole new meaning.

Of course, like everything else, there are unintended consequences of a world where canines and felines are treated as options on the prix fixe menu. Firstly, having no dogs to walk in the morning will make people measurably more sedentary and therefore plumper. This will lead to increases in plus sized clothing, which in turn leads to increase in demand for more fabric, meaning cotton prices will skyrocket.

On the other hand, this may be offset by the plunge in plastic bag demand as pooper bags lose their utility. Except of course in Paris where these kinds of things are left to bio-degrade on the streets or organically distributed by the shoes of pedestrians.

We can expect to see propaganda campaigns exhorting us to be green by eating Big Red or Old Yeller as the case may be. Al Gore would have another branch to his entrepreneurial empire, possibly a chain of Cooling Dog stands as opposed to the politically incorrect hot dog stands. If we can do this with dogs and cats, imagine when we bring horses into the discussion.

Alas, this elegantly simple solution may be too radical for many. After all, most people develop geniune bonds with their pets. It would not be the same going for long walks carrying goldfish in a bowl. It’s hard to imagine girls oohing and ahhing over a guy’s cute fish while walking in the park. Our justice system would be overwhelmed by instances of people snubbing their noses at no pet laws since in such a world, it would be illegal to keep food as pets.

Let’s just stick to taxing people.