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Because They Can

September 30th, 2011 No comments

link 2013 BMW M5 Test Drive – BMW M5 Review – Popular Mechanics.

It’s amusingly predictable that in any given year, all ‘prestige’ branded cars such as Mercedes, BMW, Porsche or Audi are offering models that are either bigger, faster, handles better,  is more luxurious or all of the above.  The entry bar for any one of these prestige marques is  easily a minimum of $90,000…plus tax, luxury tax, gas guzzler tax, dealer prep and undercoating. 

This is incongruous because never before in the history of the automobile have gasoline prices been higher, speed limits so avidly enforced and the whole idea of conspicuous consumerism so widely frowned upon.  When one reads the statistics that describe some of these cars, it’s lunacy.  In the case of the spiffy new BMW 550i model described in the article, the company claims it puts out 560hp and 500 lb-ft of torque.  Granted, this all happens with a claimed 30 per cent fuel economy improvement over it’s previous generation model, so we won’t dismiss the engineering involved.  But 560 hp?  Imagine the image of 560 horses tethered to the front of a wagon and one gets the idea of how much power we’re talking about.  In other words, on any given farming community of 50 years ago, there wouldn’t be as many horses figuratively pulling plows around as there would be pulling  just one rich guy in a car today.

The speed and acceleration claims are also amusing.  Most prestige cars eligible to even be included in the group have acceleration times of from 0 to “hello officer” or 60 mph in less than 6 seconds.  In the case of the “new and improved” Porsche 911, this number is sub 4 seconds!  Why?  In most cities these days, 60 mph is over the speed limit already, so what’s the cachet of being able to reach it in a scant 4 seconds? None of this makes any sense in a world where increasingly people are pressured to conform, to adhere to some arbitrary standards and expectations of ‘responsible’ behavior and most of all, to be green. 

But so what?  If there are idiots out there willing to pay out big money to access superb pieces of engineering, then there should be companies which are allowed to cater to them.   At a time when so much of people’s daily lives are restricted by the smothering nannyism of the state, at least there are still those that are able to thumb their noses in some small way against this PC crowd. Good for those that are able to buck the pressure to drive around in eco-weenie vehicles the size of shopping carts. 

It goes against human nature to settle in as part of the crowd.  There are always those that want to be bigger, richer, faster, better or more good looking.  That is what has always driven people to success.  If this were not the case, we’d have no fashion and clothing industry.  We’d all be wearing Mao suits.  Buying prestige cars that reflect this mentality is a not so subtle way of advertising this.  Car makers have always understood that purchases are all about statements about the purchasers themselves.  Even purchasers of Prius’ are making a statement, that of being politically correct and of being a  subscriber to the weenie dictates.

So as ridiculous as some of the statistics and features of the newer cars may be, they fullfill a role in society.  They provide an outlet for people to express themselves in a time when there is overwhelming social pressure to conform. They are still a symbol of aspiration and achievement no matter how nonsensical they may be. 

 

Fungal Cures

September 29th, 2011 No comments

link  ‘Magic mushroom’ drug may improve personality long-term – USATODAY.com.

As fascinating as this story may appear on the surface, it’s really like the sound of one hand clapping.  For thousands of years, there has existed the magic elixir from which springs bearable personalities; it’s called booze. 

In the guise of beer, it makes otherwise obnoxious men bearable as they gather to watch sports events.  In the guise of wine, women are able to tolerate each other’s banal discussions about men.  In the guise of martinis, it makes business people business partners.  In the guise of tequila, it makes college students into Internet sensations.

As we all know, the use of alchohol is a neccessity when having to deal with otherwise boring and boorish people.  Not that it makes them less boring or boorish, but the fog of alcohol makes them more tolearable.  Sort of like wearing gloves to wash the toilet.  So what does this study mean?  I suppose it means the beginning of an entirely new commercial industry to cultivate, package and promote the use of mushrooms as polite social lubricant. 

The discovery that the ‘shrooms have long lasting benefit trumps the very transitory effects of simple wine or spirits.  In those cases, it’s Jekyll in the evening and Hyde in the mornings.  If the fungi actually works, imagine the military uses.  Instead of dropping bombs on enemies, drop sandwiches or corn dogs laced with mushrooms instead.  This will be labelled the Kumbaya potion,  everyone will be in peace and harmony.  It’s the ultimate Stepford Wife drug. 

Naturally, there are some drawbacks.  If everyone and everything becomes benign, sweet and giving, what will be the point of going to France? Who would buy rap music?  MSNBC would be out of business.  It all sounds nice, but if there’s such a benefit, there has to be a hell of a hangover.  What happens when the effects wear off? Until we know that, it doesn’t make sense to abandon what’s worked over the eons.  At the least, the cachet of owing a winery is a little more elegant than saying that you own a mushroom farm, which is essentially a dung pile.  Let’s just keep the booze flowing for now.