Fungal Cures
link ‘Magic mushroom’ drug may improve personality long-term – USATODAY.com.
As fascinating as this story may appear on the surface, it’s really like the sound of one hand clapping. For thousands of years, there has existed the magic elixir from which springs bearable personalities; it’s called booze.
In the guise of beer, it makes otherwise obnoxious men bearable as they gather to watch sports events. In the guise of wine, women are able to tolerate each other’s banal discussions about men. In the guise of martinis, it makes business people business partners. In the guise of tequila, it makes college students into Internet sensations.
As we all know, the use of alchohol is a neccessity when having to deal with otherwise boring and boorish people. Not that it makes them less boring or boorish, but the fog of alcohol makes them more tolearable. Sort of like wearing gloves to wash the toilet. So what does this study mean? I suppose it means the beginning of an entirely new commercial industry to cultivate, package and promote the use of mushrooms as polite social lubricant.
The discovery that the ‘shrooms have long lasting benefit trumps the very transitory effects of simple wine or spirits. In those cases, it’s Jekyll in the evening and Hyde in the mornings. If the fungi actually works, imagine the military uses. Instead of dropping bombs on enemies, drop sandwiches or corn dogs laced with mushrooms instead. This will be labelled the Kumbaya potion, everyone will be in peace and harmony. It’s the ultimate Stepford Wife drug.
Naturally, there are some drawbacks. If everyone and everything becomes benign, sweet and giving, what will be the point of going to France? Who would buy rap music? MSNBC would be out of business. It all sounds nice, but if there’s such a benefit, there has to be a hell of a hangover. What happens when the effects wear off? Until we know that, it doesn’t make sense to abandon what’s worked over the eons. At the least, the cachet of owing a winery is a little more elegant than saying that you own a mushroom farm, which is essentially a dung pile. Let’s just keep the booze flowing for now.