As IF Times The Anti Fake News

August 28, 2026

Good Good Bad Bad

Filed under: Culture,Entertainment — Tags: , , , , — TC @ 12:32 pm

Recently, the outrage du jour fell upon a humorous ad posted by Good Good Golf for Callaway golf clubs.  Assuming, they don’t take it down, the link depicts a woman about to fondle a brand new Callaway driver.  Horrified, the club’s owner, the head of Good Good, ran to the woman and tackled her before should could lay her hands on it.

Well, he may as well have beat her senseless with a  ball peen hammer given the outrage by the ‘community’.  The sanctimonious Karens burst out like a Nepalese tidal wave denouncing this ad as a heinous attack on women, claiming that violence against women had no humor content at all.  Apparently humor is anathema to women.

The company Good Good was scorched and they were obliged to cancel their sponsorship of an upcoming PGA event.  Even worse, Callaway, the company who had previously signed off on the ad, were cowardly bowing and scraping for forgiveness, even pledging a million dollars to some charity to prove their contrition.

Somebody had better quickly scrub the archives of Peyton Manning’s SNL skits involving throwing footballs violently at children and verbally berating them.  Or the 2006 Michelob beer commercial where a woman is hard tackled after a catch.

Considering the outrage over a humorous commercial of someone ‘being hurt’, why is it only women that are protected?  Has everyone not seen the Allstate mayhem commercials where the actor is constantly getting beat up, run over, or crashed?  Does anyone remember Super Dave Osborne who regularly got flattened or pummeled by some stunt he was attempting?  Is it only funny when men slip on a banana peel?

What’s even more ridiculous is the vast support by women, for transsexuals, ( but still men) to compete in women’s sports…where you know they will inflict violence on women.  If they were to hold a wrestling match between a woman and a transexual, my money’s on the one with the hairy back.

Despite all the strides made against the spurious woke sensibilities, corporate America is still afraid of their own shadows, jumping at any and all suggestions of impropriety on their activities. Contrary to what they think, this will only embolden the permanently offended class to search for some kind of financial restitution, because as we know, money solves all grievances and assuages hurty feelings.

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September 29, 2011

Fungal Cures

Filed under: Culture — Tags: , , , , , , — TC @ 11:46 am

link  ‘Magic mushroom’ drug may improve personality long-term – USATODAY.com.

As fascinating as this story may appear on the surface, it’s really like the sound of one hand clapping.  For thousands of years, there has existed the magic elixir from which springs bearable personalities; it’s called booze. 

In the guise of beer, it makes otherwise obnoxious men bearable as they gather to watch sports events.  In the guise of wine, women are able to tolerate each other’s banal discussions about men.  In the guise of martinis, it makes business people business partners.  In the guise of tequila, it makes college students into Internet sensations.

As we all know, the use of alchohol is a neccessity when having to deal with otherwise boring and boorish people.  Not that it makes them less boring or boorish, but the fog of alcohol makes them more tolearable.  Sort of like wearing gloves to wash the toilet.  So what does this study mean?  I suppose it means the beginning of an entirely new commercial industry to cultivate, package and promote the use of mushrooms as polite social lubricant. 

The discovery that the ‘shrooms have long lasting benefit trumps the very transitory effects of simple wine or spirits.  In those cases, it’s Jekyll in the evening and Hyde in the mornings.  If the fungi actually works, imagine the military uses.  Instead of dropping bombs on enemies, drop sandwiches or corn dogs laced with mushrooms instead.  This will be labelled the Kumbaya potion,  everyone will be in peace and harmony.  It’s the ultimate Stepford Wife drug. 

Naturally, there are some drawbacks.  If everyone and everything becomes benign, sweet and giving, what will be the point of going to France? Who would buy rap music?  MSNBC would be out of business.  It all sounds nice, but if there’s such a benefit, there has to be a hell of a hangover.  What happens when the effects wear off? Until we know that, it doesn’t make sense to abandon what’s worked over the eons.  At the least, the cachet of owing a winery is a little more elegant than saying that you own a mushroom farm, which is essentially a dung pile.  Let’s just keep the booze flowing for now.

 

 

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