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The New Bureaucratic Masters

November 15th, 2021 1 comment

Imagine if weathermen had the power to influence your actions.  Upon predicting a big rainstorm, people will be obligated to wear heavy  waterproof gear and carry umbrellas.  Not doing so would increase the risk of slipping and falling and since the elderly are most at risk, they should be confined indoors until it’s all safe.  We’ll know it’s safe… when they tell us it’s safe.  Even able bodied people are at risk, so everyone needs to sport  nor’easters and wellies in the interim.  But likely only for a few weeks….at the most.

Anyone caught not appropriately attired would receive a fine, or in some cases, a beating if the cops are having a slow day. Not having the appropriate and approved gear precludes you from entering food establishments or mixing with the obediently clad.  This applies even if it were NOT raining because, you know, it might.  For as long as the omnipotent weathermen are expecting rain, everyone has to be appropriately clad in the prescribed gear.  As we know, airborne malaises can be borne by moist air; think of cholera and croup etc. Not to mention the horrible smell of wet dog that afflicts some people.  Until the danger passes then, society must be protected.

As in any emergency situation, there will always be those scofflaws that disregard the official edicts and gamble by allowing themselves to get wet. They will have a ridiculous rationale along the lines of, “people have been getting wet for centuries”.  Of course, this is just selfish behavior and only evident in the fringe deniers.

Sitting atop a pyramid of hundreds of regional weather authorities is the Head National weather Poohbah, whose decisions affect the activity of the nation. There is no authority on weather higher than him because….well just because.  As he rightfully points out, it is always raining somewhere and the restrictions can only be lifted once rain stops everywhere.  To add solemnity to the situation, statistics on the elderly dying are trotted out on a regular basis.  Had they not  gotten wet, they would have likely lived forever.

Suddenly schools are deluged with people aspiring to be weathermen because this appears to be the new power position in society. The best part of the gigs?  You can never be fired for being wrong.