It’s all women’s fault
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Anyone paying attention to all that’s hot in the news these days will come to the same epiphany as I have.
It’s all the fault of women.
There’s a lot of wisdom in the old Eve, Adam and apple thing. The article above details the most recent high earner about to be dinged by his soon to be ex-wife in a divorce suit. The other guy of course is the golfer caught playing more than one ball, none of which he started with.
Maybe we’re looking at this all wrong. The way it’s spun now; successful guy makes it to the top of his profession and gets caught eating caviar off the wrong belly button. “Tsk,tsk” is the universal response, how could he allow his better judgement inferred from success in his field of expertise, to be overcome by extra prandial cravings? You would think the consequences in this litigious society would be enough to stop him from the odd side meal. Millons if not hundreds of millions of dollars can be at stake. But no.
It makes very little sense to risk reputation, aggravation, party whispering and of course a dollar or two in order to satisfy those cravings. In a game show format where the contestant is offered the choice of money, power and adulation behind the first door and Miss April behind the second, you would think most people would shout, ” I’ll take door number 1 Jim! “.
In the real world however, it’s all about what you don’t have.
When you think about it, maybe the REAL reason men become accomplished at anything at all is a means to an end. Maybe the whole idea was to get chicks in the first place, if only subliminally. What’s the point of getting fame and fortune if you can’t get chicks?
History is rife with examples of women being the cause of men doing strange things. I’m sure the ancient Greeks were annoyed at having to put themselves out to get Helen back from the Trojans. Musta been some babe.
Before then, (or was it after?): Cleopatra was enough of a prize to send armies off to war as well. As an aside, the French philosopher Blaise Pascal opined that Cleopatra’s nose was what got the guys all aflutter in those days. Nose fetishes have apparently fallen from favor over the past few thousand years.
Queen Isabella of Spain probably sighed over dinner that she could use some extra spice on her paella and of course, Chris Columbus said, “I’ll go!”.
In our recent times, this whole notion is supported by the lyrics to Dire Straits’ mocking of musicians in their classic song “I want my MTV”,
“…Now look at them yo-yo’s, that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on that MTV
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb…”
These guys spoke the truth like my buddy Randy after the 3rd glass of wine. There’s very little original talent in most ‘rock bands’ which means the only reason to get into the yell and scream on stage business is for the chicks.
Politicians, a wacko lot in aggregate but supposedly saner than atheletes or musicians are not immune to their basic urges either. Hilary’s husband pops to mind of course, as does Gary Hart and John Edwards, both presidential candidates for the Dems. Not to be left out, Republican Mark Sanford went jungle, literally, by declaring his love for an Argentinian mistress.
The Muslim faith may have so many fanatical adherents because of this same principle. It’s astounding the pervasiveness of this faith when, during life, the concerns of women are so suppressed in their culture. How can a culture be strong and benign if it doesn’t treat mothers, sisters and daughters with deference? It’s only in the afterlife that you get 20 virgins! We can now see the draw here for young men willing to assume the fuse postion.
Seen from this perspective, it all makes sense now.