Monty Python Marketing
There was a discussion a while back about the overbearing influence of the law community in our modern lives. In the examples cited, there was at least some attempt to sell goods with the caveats tucked away in small print. The advertisement for Chantix, a stop smoking drug, comes from the modern Monty Python school of marketing.
Most are probably not familiar with the tortuous path taken by any pharmaceutical product prior to being unleashed upon the consuming public. The time involved can be 10 years in some cases, hundreds of millions of dollars of research and development, stage 1, 2 and 3 clinical trials and of course human trials. After ALL that, a product is ready for sale to you and me. Luckily there are already products out there for that nagging itch.
So this particular product is to be consumed by people wishing to quit smoking, an admirable pursuit and not that easy to do, so why not get a little help if that monkey just won’t get off your back?. Enter Chantix. The TV commercial and official website for this product claims the following:
“…CHANTIX is proven to work.
In studies, 44% of CHANTIX users were quit during weeks 9 to 12 of treatment (compared to 18% on sugar pill). CHANTIX also helped reduce the urge to smoke.
CHANTIX has been proven to be more effective in helping smokers quit than Zyban® (bupropion hydrochloride). The average person in these studies had been a smoker for more than 24 years. The trials involved a mix of men and women who smoked an average of 10 or more cigarettes a day…”
Not exactly “things go better with coke” but that’s what happens when the lawyers write copy. The best part of the TV add is the 75% of the time spent on the possible minor annoying side effects like:
“…changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX…”
or,
“…agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical…”
and,
“…you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away…”
plus,
“…Some people can have serious skin reactions while taking CHANTIX, some of which can become life-threatening. These can include rash, swelling, redness, and peeling of the skin. Some people can have allergic reactions to CHANTIX, some of which can be life-threatening and include: swelling of the face, mouth, and throat that can cause trouble breathing. If you have these symptoms or have a rash with peeling skin or blisters in your mouth, stop taking CHANTIX and get medical attention right away.
The most common side effects include nausea (30%), sleep problems, constipation, gas, and/or vomiting. You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual, or strange dreams. If you have side effects that bother you or don’t go away, tell your doctor…”
Or just light up, spare the postal workers. We’ve come quite a way from marketing in the 1960’s when,
“…4 out of 5 doctors recommend Parliament cigarettes; so smooth, so satisfying…”
Under the watchful eye of the legal hawks today, careers of ad writers and jingoists are severely threatened, unless they can find a rhyme for buproprion hydrochloride or convince people that thoughts of suicide and stomach pains are cool. The superbowl ad industry will crater.
The beer commercials will be followed by disclaimers that:
“All loose women are hired professionals and will not appear at your parties. Drinking our product leads to bar fights, police scrutiny, unwanted spouses, unamused spouses and soiled clothing. Many will suffer liver damage and extensive medical complications”
Joe Izuzu, where are you?