Forget The Sundeck Renovation
link Our own extinction is forecast, but he’s going by dead reckoning | Herald Sun.
For the benefit of those 3 people hanging on to every pronouncement from this Professor Frank Fenner guy, the forecast of imminent extinction of homo sapiens is actually great news. I can’t even begin to enumerate the useless industries that will go to zero and the corresponding businesses that will emerge as a result.
Firstly and foremost, the whole bustling business of global warming will collapse. Since the end is only a hundred or so years out, there’s no need to preserve the planet, man won’t be around anyway. Of course the immediate impact will be to thrust thousands upon thousands of lawyers and politicians out of work since we won’t need laws to protect the environment. Sadly, protest sign makers and people who make a living transporting protesters back and forth will see their businesses go extinct as well.
The entire tax system can be revamped since no longer will we have to ding people to pay for infrastructure. Existing bridges and roads will probably last most of the way to the next hundred years and if not, it won’t matter. The real estate market may suffer a bit since no one will bother to buy something that will have no demand in a finite time. The exception of course is waterfront property. Even with the clock ticking, people still want the ocean view. The banking business will go to zero, since no one’s going to bother to repay any loans. The smart guys will try to get 110 year no interest mortgages with a balloon payment at the end.
While the first thought is that society will become more hedonistic and violent since a finite end is in place, the opposite may be true. The religion racket will be huge since with everyone rushing to get to the next place, they’ll all want to get as good a spot as possible. Naturally, all kinds of programs will be sold to allow people to get those coveted positions. Living a benign life will probably score you some good spots in the next one. Of course, there will always be those that won’t comply with the civility expected by society, but rather than having to waste time and money incarcerating them, they’ll just all be shot. Who has time to look after miscreants when the end is just over the horizon?
The popular obsessions of navel gazing and celebrity worship will end along with the inane TV shows dedicated to them. We won’t care about Tiger’s 24th love child or Kim Kardashian’s new diet. No more Ryan Seacrest. Everyone will be more focused on self amusement, not just in the prurient way, but in pursuits that really matter to themselves. Golf will never be more popular. Liquor sales will skyrocket.
History books and all manner of scholarly archives can be ignored since they will all be irrelevant. Think of all the libraries and museums that can be emptied out and converted to low income housing. The professions of archaeologists and historians will become effete pastimes like macrame or flower pressing since there is no need to discover where we came from. Fortune telling may suffer a bit as well since “you have a bright future” is off the table.
The best thing that will happen is that we will not have to listen to the bleatings of professional doomsayers and handwringers anymore like this Fenner guy and of course Al, buy a waterfront home because water levels will rise, Gore. Ok they were right, shut up already.