May As Well Be Maytags
Boy, have times changed. Anyone who has ever owned a British, Italian or French car made during the mid ’70’s or a Russian Yugo or Hyundai Pony from the 80’s will no doubt be amused by this story. Apart from the usual spare tire and jack that came as standard equipment when buying one of those beauties, you were also issued a roll of duct tape just in case. In addition, you’d be crazy not to have some jumper cables in the trunk. Windows that didn’t roll down, roofs that leaked and floor boards that disappeared were considered part of the charm of owning these marques. At least it was in those days.
Steering some of those old cars was more of an exercise in aiming than precision guidance. As far as brakes were concerned, you had to engage in long term planning in order to stop within a block or two of where you wanted. I remember clearly that a Fiat 128 owned by one of my university buddies had to be parked facing downhill so that there would be a chance of starting it afterwards.
Some of the design elements of the old cars were also suspect. Even something as simple as having 3 wiper arms on the old MG’s was quizzical. Who buys 3 wiper blades? Some of the old convertible tops were designed to nominally keep the rain off your head, but they would leak so badly that your feet and seat were guaranteed to be soaked instead. Fiat had the bright idea of having to screw the bolts into holes in the wheel hubs rather than have studs stick out as is the case on most cars. Try aligning bolts to holes while propping up a heavy tire on a dark rainy night. Don’t ask how I know. The Lucas electrics on the British cars were so utterly useless that often you could have either lights or ignition but not both. Anyone who remembers the quirks of these old cars as being charming is either delusional or have selective memories.
It wasn’t until the Japanese cars came along with their attention to detail that people began to have any expectations of quality control at all. Now cars have bumper to bumper warranties and are very well engineered and constructed. They make the old cars look like weekend garage projects. For the masses, cars have in effect, become appliances like any stove or refrigerator. People expect their cars to be perfect and trouble-free. Expectations and perceptions have clearly evolved. Nowadays, if you tick off the option box for the Mark Levinson sound system on a Lexus, it would cost more than the entire purchase price of a Toyota Corolla 20 years ago. The days of accepting ‘quirkiness’ are gone, the lawyers have seen to that. The linked article describes a recall of 52,000 cars just to fix a bolt after a single accident. Compare that to the 70’s when there were scores of incidents of Ford Pintos bursting into flames when their rear bumpers were struck.
However, even as car quality has unquestionably improved over the years, the charm surrounding them is mainly gone. I guess I’m one of the delusional who liked the goofiness of the old cars. At least if something broke, you could find a way to jury rig it. Nowadays, that’s not possible. You’d have to pay the Apple geek to tinker with it. Kind of sad really. It’s hard to feel affinity for something that you plug in. The sheer fun of just driving a car has been replaced by the material desire to have gadgets in them. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Apple comes out with the ICar.