As IF Times

link Big UN environmental summit opens in Rio – CBS News.

“Honey, this year, we’ll be doing our climate conference shtick in Rio!”

“Why that’s wonderful dear!  Wow, getting that job as a UN diplomat was a brilliant move on your part 20 years ago!  We’ve seen the world in opulent luxury, have never spent a dime for any of it and in fact got paid millions of tax free dollars to do so!  Let’s see, where have we been recently, Copenhagen, Kyoto, Durban, Cancun and now Rio.  You are a genius!”

“Aw shucks honey, it was just luck that’s all.  Who would have thought that 20 years after this whole climate charade started that it would still be going on today.  We’re like the Rolling Stones’ final tour.  We’ll just milk it until the idiots figure it out.  When they do, we’ll find some other world ending cause.”

“But how can they not have caught on by now? Didn’t you all say that it was all going to end badly from the outset 20 years ago, that time was running out?”

“Yes, but no one remembers those things.  Besides, every year some new poster child for the consequence of human negligence pops up.  If not spotted owls, it’s penguins, polar bears, or whales or worms or bees.  There’s always somebody missing.   Now, you don’t even have to count missing animals, just tell ’em that ice is disappearing…ICE!”

“Won’t the masses find out one day?  I mean, what actually is the date for final extinction?”

“Shhh!  There isn’t one!  We just keep telling them that the end is near and that way, they’ll keep paying us to tell them it’s soon!  Come to think of it, you’re right, it IS sheer genius!  Now don’t bother me honey, go shopping for a new swimsuit or something.  I have to practice my speech in that Morgan Freeman voice that people fall for.  Actually, let’s both go bauble shopping, I’ll just dust off an old speech, no one will know the difference.”

link AFP: Battle lines drawn for Cancun climate conference.

I think they mean the line to the bar.  Once again, the global warming braintrust is convening in a nice sunny clime to listen to themselves talk about the weather.  It’s as if they were a pack of baying coyotes, you only wish you could throw a shoe and yell at them to shut up.  I wonder why they didn’t gather in Copenhagen again, or in London.  Oh, that’s right, all the snow makes standing outside with global warming signs uncomfortable.  Far more convenient to don the speedos and sip margaritas decrying the decadence of the west from a more civilized place. “This is much better than Kyoto.  You couldn’t get a decent drink there.”

I’m sure there’s an activities list handed out to the official attendees.  A typical day may look like this:

9:00 am:  breakfast at the pool cabana

10:30 am:   speech by Chick Gore  –  Topic- Urgency of Calamity,  Imminent Extinction; Only 6 to 8 months left for world. 

11:30 am:  speech by Al Little – Topic- Action Plan, How to raise taxes for the next 10 years to pay for initiatives

12:30 pm:  working  lunch at the conference hall- Topic- Disappearance of animal species due to Global Warming.  Accompanying lunch will be seared rare Ahi Tuna from the Gulf Coast with a selection of rare French wines.

1:45 pm:  Pre-protest primer in the main lobby.  Instruction on chanting and fist shaking.  Final spell check on protest signs.  Fake beards handed out.

2:00 pm:  Official protest rally of the day; gather at gates of the golf course, sunscreen will be provided.

2:10 pm:  Camera crew leaves, protest over for the day. 

2:30 pm:  Free Afternoon.  Buses to Aztec ruins tour available in main lobby.

6:00 pm:  Dinner at Senor Frogs