As IF Times

link Emanuel Vows ‘Full Force’ Of Law Will Bring Street Thugs To Justice « CBS Chicago.

It’s apparent that the affluence of Chicago society has impacted the normal hunting and grazing habitats of the urban youth.  Pushed out by encroaching urbanization and development, these otherwise peaceful urban, disadvantaged youth are now seen foraging far away from their normal habitats of the south side.  Unable to get their normal supply of food, drugs and money from their usual constituency, these helpless creatures have moved bravely on to the more affluent areas of the city for easier prey. 

Unaccustomed to dealing with wild creatures from years of brainwashing and complacency by cultural conditioning, the residents of the affluent gold coast and northern beaches are easy pickings for the swarms of displaced youth.  Whereas natural  survival skills would normally kick in when confronted with a gang of unfriendly natives, resident victims now have no response whatsoever, as if they were Wildebeest on the Savannah. 

Sympathetic to the plight of the poor displaced youth, who according to authorities are only exhibiting natural survival behaviour, many sociologists are pushing for more money to be made available to the urban poor.  One such expert, Dr. Del E. Rious stated,

“…The present difficult economy has rendered the usual victims of the inner city youths with less and less money to steal.  While food stamps are plentiful, the lack of hard currency to buy drugs, oversized sneakers and bling are presenting the youth gangs with few options but to forage further afield for more lucrative and easier prey.  The residual effects of the Bush years have caused desperation to manifest among the restless kids.  Tourists are simply seen as easy and prime targets for them…”

When one of the youth mobsters were asked why they were picking on innocent citizens and tourists, he responded, “Cuz they gots the money fool!”. Local police have been overwhelmed with the sudden spike in gang activity and many have attributed this in some part to global warming.  A unnamed police spokesman said,

“We haven’t seen this kind of mass predatory activity since the 1970’s.  It is no coincidence that the City of Chicago has experienced its warmest temperatures since that time and we are seeing a corresponding spreading of mob activity outside of their habitual haunts…”  In that vein, local activists are lobbying the federal government to supply air conditioners to the ‘hood areas in order to stem the migration to the wealthier suburbs.  The same police spokesman added, “…we must do something, the youth mobsters can’t help themselves, they are only reacting to basic natural survival instincts…”

At the moment, the mobsters are being shot with tranquilizer darts and then returned to their home areas, but many residents fear that this will not discourage them as they get bolder and bolder.  Visitors and residents are encouraged to always have a roll of twenties on them to placate the youth gangs if they are confronted.  In fact, they are encouraged to simply tape the money to their arms and back for easy and quick removal. It is thought that this is only a mild seasonal nuisance that will subside with cooler weather.

link Firefighters union halting federal contributions – Yahoo! News.

The benign image of the affable firefighter who fixes kids’ bicycles, rescues stranded cats in trees and posing for cheesecake calendars when not risking their lives to pull infants from burning buildings is as quaint and passe as the iconic slide pole in the firehouse.  Like the brass poles, which have been put to good use and made notorious by another profession, the image of some firefighters are being associated with some iffier elements.

Who knew that collectively they felt compelled to contribute to political parties as part of their jobs?  What does supporting Democrats have to do with cats in trees?  Most of us have grown up with the image of the fireman as the  gallant and selfless hero.  They were always considered above the fray of partisan activity.  That was left to sleazy businessmen, ambitious politicians and occasionally, the wayward cop.   But not firemen.   Who doubts the intentions of a fireman?

Alas, that profession has fallen victim to the disease that has fatally affected many professions.  The public union.  Like the infamous Teachers unions, firefighters’ unions now exert political influence beyond their expected roles in society.  You would think that their roles are pretty clear, that is to look after the needs of their local constituents.  According to this article however, these unions have been actively supporting national level  politicians sympathetic to union interests.  How is this different than if janitors and tree pruners banded together to have a national voice?  What if they decided that Global warming was a sympathetic cause?

When someone decides on a profession such as firefighter, presumably they do it out of conscious choice.  As far as I know, no one goes into it because they were forced into it or that it was a way to make ends meet to support 4 kids.  Presumably, they liked the lifestyle and job description;  the red trucks and sirens didn’t hurt.  Certainly, there is always the element of mortal danger with the job as well and that’s why we have such respect for them.  But clearly, some in their ranks find it more lucrative to be climbing up political ladders than those propped next to burning buildings.  With the political activism of their unions, it now certainly appears that hooking up their hoses  to the public pension system is the end game for them.   Their burnished image suffers and they’ll be seen as just another self serving union organization.  I’d guess that most of the public isn’t even aware of this.   They may be hosed in ways they didn’t expect.