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July 25th, 2020 No comments

source: https://canadiansdaily.com/you-can-be-fined-1500-if-your-passager-is-using-a-mobile-phone-starting-next-week/

In the never ending effort to make life completely safe for its citizens, Canadian governments will soon roll out a series of now policy and law changes that ensures that no citizen is at risk from the time they get out of bed in the mornings to the time they return to bed in the evenings.

The most recent policy in furtherance of this goal is the banning of cell phone usage in cars….by passengers.  As the linked article reveals, the risk of an incident is too great even if it’s the passenger in the car  that is using a mobile phone.  It was bad enough when they disallowed drivers from playing Candy Crush on their phones while driving but now even passengers will be forbidden from checking their Instagram accounts while in the car.  This is all in the cause of public safety because over a decade, the total of all lives saved is projected to be as much as 2.  In the meantime, the $1500 dollar fines will benefit the public tax coffers, so it’s a win/win program.

To be clear, this is only phase one of this new set of laws.  Prohibition of talking, singing and nose picking are in the next phase since all can contribute to distracted driving.   Just as masks have become quasi mandatory today, the new policy will mandate blinders on drivers so they won’t be distracted by images other than what’s in front of them.  Naturally, radios and music players will all be required to be retroactively removed which creates another industry for contractors.  So this is a job creating program; another win/win.

The longer term policy is headed towards having no one drive at all since it’s unrealistic to expect that individuals can focus enough to both drive and breathe.  Mass transportation is the ultimate goal.

Some of the other proposals in the works have to do with the color of clothing.  It will soon be illegal to wear anything dark colored. Dark clothing, if worn at night can render people difficult to see, thus only light colored reflective fabrics can be legally sold in the near future.  As a concession to fashion and formal occasions, the reflective part can be omitted for certain events with the requisite permissions and fees paid. In addition, light colored clothing will make it easier for law enforcement to track criminals from a crime scene, so the public safety aspect is doubled.

Bicycles and skateboards have their own obvious safety issues and thus, they will be made illegal over a period of 2 years.  Running shoes are on the table for discussion as well since they enable people to travel at potentially unsafe speeds. Flip flops may become mandatory, if any footwear will be permitted at all.

As to the aforementioned getting out of bed, there are prototypes being submitted now to Health Canada for mandatory metal supports and guard rails to extend from all beds to prevent anyone from being crushed accidentally.  This arises from the trend of people who have taken to hiding under their beds in order to avoid an imagined pandemic flu or alien invasion.

All of these measures will be formally announced at a news conference at the end of this month by the new ministry created for public safety by the name of the National Action Group for General Safety or NAGGS.  This ministry was formed at the behest of a lobby group, the National Organization of Women Hoping Against Trouble, or NOWHAT.  At the start of the presentation, the minister responsible will give the standard routine advice of putting on sweaters in case it gets cold and to stay hydrated.   Breathing masks and sanitizers will of course be provided.