As IF Times

link  UN to appoint space ambassador to greet alien visitors – Telegraph.

This only sounds preposterous at first.  The more you think about it, the more ridiculously laughable this becomes.  Let’s put aside for a moment the possibility of extra terrestrial aliens arriving one day to contact earth.  I think we can all accept that.  Actually it’s almost preposterous to think that aliens haven’t already visited at one time or another over the centuries for a long weekend or just a curiosity stop.  But assuming that they haven’t and the first upcoming visit is novel, do we really want someone from the U.N. as our contact person?

Does it make sense to allow some U.N. goofball to intone,  “Welcome to earth, how was your trip?”  He would be as representative of earthlings as Ru Paul would be of women.  What if they came in a huge gas guzzler? Would they be allowed to land?  What if they just needed to fill up with some fluids and decided to empty say, Lake Erie?  What if all they needed was some food, so they take some Wildebeest, some hogs and oh maybe some truckloads of Asians, since there seems to be plenty of those. 

Let’s not kid ourselves, no one is going to give a rat’s ass if aliens appear unless, a) they bring some cool souvenirs, like transmogrifiers or time travel boxes, or b) they threaten humankind, in which case, everyone’s on their own.  When the aliens offer the cliche line, ” Take me to your leader”,  it will be met with bemused stares, especially if they land in Los Angeles, in which case, they’ll be introduced to some gang guy named Chico.  Actually, landing anywhere on the coasts of the U.S. would not create a stir at all since any strangeness of appearance would blend right in with the locals.

If they land in Texas, they’ll probably get shot at since they’re funny looking foreigners.  If they happen to land in China, God help them because someone is going to try to eat them.  Meanwhile, how will this U.N. ambassador train for his role?  Will he start learning to speak in clicks and pops?  Will he learn to play music and lights as per the movie Close Encounters Of The Third Kind?  Where would he learn alien etiquette? Are their women good looking?  I offer an idea as to how we can impress them with our advanced civilizations.  Give them our visionary politicians as a going away gift.  Al Gore pops to mind. At least we’ll find out if they have a sense of humor.