As IF Times

link The mysterious case of Sherlock with a six-pack – Film – Entertainment

Since this is movie season, we are once again exposed to Hollywood’s latest servings of culture and entertainment. The blockbuster film and must see this season is Avatar, a truly massive undertaking of production rumored to have cost over 200 million dollars to create. The early reviews are effusive and gushing for the CG effects and attention to detail in the 3-D format. For greater than 200 REAL large, I guess you’d better get more than actors in rubber masks. In regards to the story line, the opinions are a bit more mixed as some see the plot as a thinly veiled allegory to Americans’ appetite for oil.

I suppose that’s possible and given Hollywood’s leanings over the past generation, probable. However, it would be nice to have entertainment for the sake of entertainment without the sanctimony. It would be nice if the Wizard of Oz was just a puffed up insecure egotist and not an allegory of Adolf Hitler, but maybe that’s my age showing.

It does bear mentioning that the best stories/movies in history have something to say about the human condition, that speak to common experiences and emotions of everyone. Timeless movies explore human frailties and also achievements of spirit. Many movies of the past decade fall into the category of visual stimulation, akin to watching a pinball game for 90 minutes. Junk food movies essentially. How many times can you watch cars blow up or someone kung fu 20 people and still have his hat on?

Incidentally, as much as Hollywood loves to paint their their projects as high art, it is useful to observe how much of what comes out, isn’t. In fact, it’s amusing to see how much of the product is re-packaged cliches. When you consider some of the questionable offerings for the mass eyeball market, it’s as if there’s a big cut and paste studio somewhere in Burbank that spits them all out.

It’s well known by everyone by now that in movies and on TV, a shopping bag will always have a stick of french bread protruding from the top, but the things I refer to are more particular to our present culture and time.

For instance, notice that anytime someone is working on a computer, it’s always a notebook and it’s always an Apple.

Notice that most men have the unkempt/unwashed hair look regardless of their station in society. Related to this, notice that men are portrayed as shaver challenged, appearing scruffy in all aspects of life. This is the case even in Mcdonald’s commercials. Not sure how that creates empathy. Interestingly this may create a self fullfilling prophecy as men who watch these images think it’s alright to be slobs and thus life imitates art.

Notice that all people somehow are competent martial arts experts regardless of actual job, age or sex. As observed in the link at the top of the page, notice that all the protagonists have buff physiques, especially the particular fascination with six pack abs. Of course, during a fight scene, somehow our hero is stripped to the waist to display this. Even Sherlock Holmes!! How did he find time to do crunches while smoking his pipe and all that deducing? If movies are really a reflection of society, historians years from now will deduce that all men subscribed to Men’s Health and worked out in the mornings before the beginning of a crime fighting day.

Notice that office buildings are lit darkly to provide maximum dramatic effect as if fluorescent tubes didn’t exist. This is especially amusing in autopsy type scenes. I’m sure most forensic activities take place in the dramatic glow of a 40 watt bulb. And the forensic doc is always a babe.

Notice that the always short tempered and hard nosed police sergeant is a black man or woman that loves to collect people’s behinds like charms on a bracelet. All police detectives are just this far away from being canned.

Notice that geeky kids are always articulate and are able to hack into FBI/CIA computers with the aforementioned Apple pc. The more articulate/geeky and troubled the hero, the more attractive they are to the heroine. Wonder if there’s some projection on the part of writers and producers….

The President of the United States is always portrayed as this god like character with sage like utterances surrounded by humorless G men. In reality, during ANY administration, the man in office is just another politician loathed by most.

The future is always portrayed as a dark and bleak place where a dehumanizing big brother environment is the norm. As if that can happen….

And let’s not even talk about sequels.

link Polluting pets: the devastating impact of man’s best friend – Yahoo! News

Headline– “PARIS (AFP) – Man’s best friend could be one of the environment’s worst enemies, according to a new study which says the carbon pawprint of a pet dog is more than double that of a gas-guzzling sports utility vehicle…”

The Asians were way ahead of the curve on global warming. Turns out that having Rover or Spike on the daily specials list at McHubei’s is not only environmentally commendable but also way ahead of the curve. If you think about it, noshing on all sorts of household domestic fru frus can be a great two-fer. One, it solves global warming and two, it can alleviate world hunger.

The proliferation of cooking shows on TV these days needs some new sizzle to their tired menu items. How many times can you make beef, chicken or pork? We can now expect variations of chien-au-vin and Schnauzer schnitzel with Bobby Flay. Naturally, we’d prefer the wild pets, not farm raised. The expression, “I feel like a dog today” will have a whole new meaning.

Of course, like everything else, there are unintended consequences of a world where canines and felines are treated as options on the prix fixe menu. Firstly, having no dogs to walk in the morning will make people measurably more sedentary and therefore plumper. This will lead to increases in plus sized clothing, which in turn leads to increase in demand for more fabric, meaning cotton prices will skyrocket.

On the other hand, this may be offset by the plunge in plastic bag demand as pooper bags lose their utility. Except of course in Paris where these kinds of things are left to bio-degrade on the streets or organically distributed by the shoes of pedestrians.

We can expect to see propaganda campaigns exhorting us to be green by eating Big Red or Old Yeller as the case may be. Al Gore would have another branch to his entrepreneurial empire, possibly a chain of Cooling Dog stands as opposed to the politically incorrect hot dog stands. If we can do this with dogs and cats, imagine when we bring horses into the discussion.

Alas, this elegantly simple solution may be too radical for many. After all, most people develop geniune bonds with their pets. It would not be the same going for long walks carrying goldfish in a bowl. It’s hard to imagine girls oohing and ahhing over a guy’s cute fish while walking in the park. Our justice system would be overwhelmed by instances of people snubbing their noses at no pet laws since in such a world, it would be illegal to keep food as pets.

Let’s just stick to taxing people.