Our Modern Heroes
link Tiger Woods still the game’s biggest earner despite 2010 woes – Yahoo! News.
An alien who just lands on earth scans the news to determine those who have been influential to modern society. He comes up with the following list:
Alexander Graham Bell -inventor of telephone
Janus Friis, Niklas Zennstrom- co-founders of Skype
Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs- co-founders of Apple
Bill Gates, Paul Allen – co-founders of Microsoft
Mike Lazardis – founder of Research In Motion
Mother Teresa- Saint
Eugene Polley- inventor of TV remote control
Percy Spencer- inventor of the microwave oven
Thomas Edison- inventor of the light bulb
Sir Alexander Fleming -inventor of penicillin
Werner von Siemens/Elisha Otis- inventors of elevator
Alastair Pilkington- inventor of flat glass
George C. Devol Jr. -creator of industrial robots
Nick Holonyak – creator of LED’s
Sir Tim Berners-Lee – creator of HyperText Markup Language, or HTML
Martin Cooper -leader of team at Motorola that invented the cellphone
Stephanie Kwoler, Herbert Blades – inventors of Kevlar
Wilson Greatbatch -invents heart pacemaker
Craig Venter- developed ability to sequence human genome
Dr. Christian Barnard – first heart transplant procedure
Henry Ford- developer of the assembly line
Vinton Cerf-one of the founders of the internet (not Al Gore)
With a few notable exceptions, he finds very few of these names when cross referenced with another list labelled Famous and Notable Heroes. On this list, he finds:
Tiger Woods -hits balls with stick
Derek Jeter -hits balls with stick
Michael Jordan- drops balls into a ring
David Beckham- kicks balls
Sidney Crosby- hits puck with stick
Al Gore – prophet of doom, should be hit with a stick
Simon Cowell -critic
Barack Obama – part black man
Lady Gaga -strange wardrobe
Bono -sunglass wearer with social conscience
Tom Brady- throws balls
Hugh Hefner- child molester
The alien loads up the ship and leaves.