As IF Times

link Tiger Woods still the game’s biggest earner despite 2010 woes – Yahoo! News.

An alien who just lands on earth scans the news to determine those who have been influential to modern society.  He comes up with the following list:

Alexander Graham Bell -inventor of telephone

Janus Friis, Niklas Zennstrom- co-founders of Skype

Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs- co-founders of Apple

Bill Gates, Paul Allen – co-founders of Microsoft

Mike Lazardis – founder of Research In Motion

Mother Teresa- Saint

Eugene Polley- inventor of TV remote control

Percy Spencer- inventor of the microwave oven

Thomas Edison- inventor of the light bulb

Sir Alexander Fleming -inventor of penicillin

Werner von Siemens/Elisha Otis- inventors of elevator

Alastair Pilkington- inventor of flat glass

George C. Devol Jr. -creator of industrial robots

Nick Holonyak – creator of LED’s

Sir Tim Berners-Lee – creator of HyperText Markup Language, or HTML

Martin Cooper -leader of team at Motorola that invented the cellphone

Stephanie Kwoler, Herbert Blades – inventors of Kevlar

Wilson Greatbatch -invents heart pacemaker

Craig Venter- developed ability to sequence human genome

Dr. Christian Barnard – first heart transplant procedure

Henry Ford- developer of the assembly line

Vinton Cerf-one of the founders of the internet (not Al Gore)

With a few notable exceptions, he finds very few of these names when cross referenced with another list labelled Famous and Notable Heroes.  On this list, he finds:

Tiger Woods -hits balls with stick

Derek Jeter -hits balls with stick

Michael Jordan- drops balls into a ring

David Beckham- kicks balls

Sidney Crosby- hits puck with stick

Al Gore – prophet of doom, should be hit with a stick

Simon Cowell -critic

Barack Obama – part black man

Lady Gaga -strange wardrobe

Bono -sunglass wearer with social conscience

Tom Brady- throws balls

Hugh Hefner- child molester

The alien loads up the ship and leaves.