As IF Times

link  UN to appoint space ambassador to greet alien visitors – Telegraph.

This only sounds preposterous at first.  The more you think about it, the more ridiculously laughable this becomes.  Let’s put aside for a moment the possibility of extra terrestrial aliens arriving one day to contact earth.  I think we can all accept that.  Actually it’s almost preposterous to think that aliens haven’t already visited at one time or another over the centuries for a long weekend or just a curiosity stop.  But assuming that they haven’t and the first upcoming visit is novel, do we really want someone from the U.N. as our contact person?

Does it make sense to allow some U.N. goofball to intone,  “Welcome to earth, how was your trip?”  He would be as representative of earthlings as Ru Paul would be of women.  What if they came in a huge gas guzzler? Would they be allowed to land?  What if they just needed to fill up with some fluids and decided to empty say, Lake Erie?  What if all they needed was some food, so they take some Wildebeest, some hogs and oh maybe some truckloads of Asians, since there seems to be plenty of those. 

Let’s not kid ourselves, no one is going to give a rat’s ass if aliens appear unless, a) they bring some cool souvenirs, like transmogrifiers or time travel boxes, or b) they threaten humankind, in which case, everyone’s on their own.  When the aliens offer the cliche line, ” Take me to your leader”,  it will be met with bemused stares, especially if they land in Los Angeles, in which case, they’ll be introduced to some gang guy named Chico.  Actually, landing anywhere on the coasts of the U.S. would not create a stir at all since any strangeness of appearance would blend right in with the locals.

If they land in Texas, they’ll probably get shot at since they’re funny looking foreigners.  If they happen to land in China, God help them because someone is going to try to eat them.  Meanwhile, how will this U.N. ambassador train for his role?  Will he start learning to speak in clicks and pops?  Will he learn to play music and lights as per the movie Close Encounters Of The Third Kind?  Where would he learn alien etiquette? Are their women good looking?  I offer an idea as to how we can impress them with our advanced civilizations.  Give them our visionary politicians as a going away gift.  Al Gore pops to mind. At least we’ll find out if they have a sense of humor.

link Nick Clegg to denounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at UN | Politics | guardian.co.uk.

Good for Nick.  It is curious though that it is someone representing a foreign government and not the Americans directly making the speech denouncing the ravings of statesman Mahmoud in his recent charm offensive.  We all know that politics and diplomacy is all about thrust and parry, maneuvering and feinting.  What is said in public can be intended for very distinct audiences. 

It’s doubtful that what Ahmadinejad had to say would find many sympathizers in the U.S. except perhaps the  911 conspiracy crowd.  These are the same people who insist the moon landing took place on a Universal Studios soundstage, who think Elvis is alive and living at The Villages in Florida and that Stephen Colbert has talent.  

It’s possible that Mahmoud’s words were taken out of context when he says,

“…That some segments within the U.S. government orchestrated the attack to reverse the declining American economy and its grips on the Middle East in order also to save the Zionist regime…”

and

“…should the United States attack Iran over its nuclear program, it would become embroiled in a war that would make previous American conflicts pale in comparison…”

It’s more likely that these remarks were aimed at his brothers back in the ‘hood. After all, when you can come right into the bowels of the Great Satan, poke them in the eye and then have them pay and ensure your personal safety, that’s a big win for the home team.  It looks great on your resume and ensures that you will get people to listen to you back in Sandville.  You have to admire the guy for the deft play in the diplomacy field. 

Meanwhile, the Americans showed just how irascible they can be in the face of overt threats.  They walked out of the speech.  Boy, they sure showed him!  It’s one thing to pretend to be accepting of views of tyrants, dictators and other modern day Napoleons of small stature and belligerent egos, but when they basically spit in your  soup and dare you to do anything about it, there should be some indignant response from the aggrieved.  Why wouldn’t the highest representative of the U.S. government stand up forcefully and make a statement that in no uncertain terms excoriates the opinions of the Mahmouds of the world and make it clear that further aggravation will not be tolerated.  Instead of allowing him to come to New York to see a Broadway play, he can stay at home and shake his fists there. 

In this enlightened age of civility, I suppose it would be considered unsociable to set off some devices which would result in mushroom shaped clouds in his neighborhood.  Ok, we can accept that.  But at the very least, when the guy swaggers over here to rail and rant, let security be his own concern.  What do we care if he falls down an open manhole? Let him ride the subway and risk mugging like everyone else.  Given a choice, do U.S. citizens really want to surround our hero with police escorts and security bubbles? Given a choice, I think they’d prefer to listen to their own domestic unshaven nutbar, Michael Moore.  At least the people don’t have to pay for his security.