As IF Times

link Hawaii Five-O remake returns to TV with big budget pilot | Mail Online.

It was exciting at first, the idea of reviving a classic TV show from the 60’s.  Hawaii Five O was the longest running detective series of all time and most of us grew up with images of the island paradise based on scenes from this show.  The classic theme song and vibrant images at the opening credits drew audiences into what was usually a riveting story.  In addition, Jack Lord played Steve McGarrett with a detached coolness that was believable.  As well, one of the actors was a guy whose real name was Zulu who played Kono. What are the odds and how cool is that?

Of course in those days, fighting crime was a bit different.  As depicted by the series, the police looked like police officers, appearing  fairly nondescript.  Criminals looked pretty much like they do today, scraggly, unwashed and possessed of bad manners.  In modern times, the police have newer standards to live up to.

Apparently, they must be young, fit and obliged to display their chiseled bodies during the course of investigations.  Their stylishness is more Lululemon than U.S. Marines. I don’t recall ever seeing Steve McGarrett of old in anything less than an unbuttoned shirt collar.  In the old days, it was a possibility that there would be some kind of physical altercation with the criminals, but mainly they were short lived tussles with grappling and the odd punch thrown.  Nowadays, the cops have to be kung fu action stars along with the criminals, though it’s not clear why that would be necessary in a world of  guns and tasers.  Speaking of guns, in the old days, cops and crooks usually made do with simple .38 caliber revolvers.  Now of course, everyone carries automatic Sigs or Glocks with endless supplies of ammunition clips.  For the most part, the bad guys are armed with fully automatic machine guns as well, but this doesn’t make them more effective.  Even when a hail of bullets is fired at the cops, only superficial arm grazings occur. 

In the old days, women were never to be seen on the front lines during the investigation, but today, not only are they fighting alongside the men, they are also young and physical specimens as well.  Despite weighing only as much as Joy Behar’s right leg, they are also somehow able to dispatch ruthless thugs who outweigh them by at least double with amazing skill.  In real life, most police women look like Ernest Borgnine.  I guess it all makes for splashy TV but unless the plots are compelling enough from week to week, it’ll be hard for this remake to come close to the longevity of the original.  You can only watch variations of a video game so many times.

link FOXNews.com – White House: Global Warming Out, Global Climate Disruption In.

In the marketing business, if you can’t sell something for what it is, call it something else.  Take the culinary delicacy which is essentially, offal.  They may call them sweetbreads, but there’s nothing sweet about them and the only bread involved is if it had been passing through.  In the same manner, we can call them sausages or hot dogs, but they’re basically eyelid and snout snacks.  Escargot is still snails. There’s no cheese in head cheese.  Bacon is pork belly. 

So now, some goofballs are trying to impose Global Climate Disruption as the official nomenclature for the failed Global Warming schemes.  The short handle will be GCD, which to me might as well mean Goofball Caused Disinformation.  Oddly, this sounds somewhat like the medical condition that men can take blue pills for.  This relabelling charade is the same strategy to recast the War on Terror theme to the new expression, Man Caused Disaster, MCD, which could easily stand for Millions Can Die.  These clowns remind me of the old ’60’s TV series, Get Smart wherein the good guys worked for CONTROL and the bad guys worked for KAOS, international organization of evil.   

I think we can create a new group in order to counter the idiotic notions put forth by these chicken littles who insist that the world will end every hour on the hour.  This new society can be called Anthropomorphic Soiling Is Fraudulent, or ASIF.  I would happily lend out my trademark in the battle against rampant disinformation and scare mongering.  Do they really think that repackaging the rotting corpse of Global Warming will make this an easier sell to the public?  As the article points out, yes, especially if you are trying to pitch that message while standing in 5 feet of snow. 

If these people manage to push this new labelling into common usage and influence economies and disrupt human lives, well then I guess P.T. Barnum was right.  They can call it GCD, but it’s still offal.