As IF Times

link NYC Asks Food Manufacturers To Cut Salt Content – wcbstv.com

It’s getting tougher and tougher to keep on the right side of the modern politically correct, nanny culture that we’ve all embraced. It was bad enough that scientists have disparaged all manner and type of enjoyment, confection and amusement because of perceived detrimental effects. I guess you could argue that to demonize smokers was a good thing, since the idea of inhaling fumes that had just been in someone else’s lungs is pretty icky. Not to mention that smokers in general tend to be a slovenly lot, casting their spent butt ends all over the place. Is there anything more disgusting than looking at cigarette butts crushed into the remnants of a dish at the end of a meal?

But over the years, if you’ve avoided all the things that the authorities have claimed are bad for you, it’s possible you would not be alive, having died of malnutrition. Over the past few decades, the list of tsk tsk items have included:

eggs, coffee, milk, white bread, red meats, cheese, fish, shellfish, butter, ice cream, potato chips, cookies, candy, donuts, fried chicken, french fries and “fast food” in general. Hmm this looks like my weekly shopping list.

Oddly, many modern diets have espoused the virtues of eggs and red meats for their high protein benefits and coffee has seen a resurgence as a beneficial food as well as fish and of course the fast food at Subway. Just ask Jared. Strangely, margarine at one time was touted as preferable to butter, now we’ve swung back the other way. You seldom see any cooking shows or recipes calling for margarine in their mix.

Where it gets a little dicey are the arcane constituents of foods. For instance, fats per se aren’t bad for you, only certain trans and mono fats whatever those are. Maybe it’s no coincidence that Emeril Lagasse does not have a show on the Food Network anymore. I recall he never met a fat he didn’t like.

So now, the guardians of our well being (at least in NY) are pushing to move SALT from our diets. Apparently, we ingest far too much salt in forms we don’t even realize and this leads us towards the health out of bounds markers. So pressing is this crisis that they will eventually make it illegal for restaurants and food companies to exceed certain salt levels in their products. In other words, save us from ourselves, like it or not.

Boy, this is going to spur some changes in our society. Like smokers, willful salt ingesters will have to huddle in doorways outside of buildings sprinkling salt on their meals. There of course will be new camaraderies as people share shakers like lighters. Of course, people will try to quit, but can’t, therefore salt patches will be available for those who are weak. Naturally, there will be large letter warnings on salt packages and minors will not be able to obtain them.

There may be the emergence of underground restaurants where they freely use salt and other seasonings, like the speakeasies of old where you have to whisper, “Charlie sent me” through a sliding slot in a door to get in. The companies that make shakers will be severely squeezed since now only pepper shakers are acceptable on dining tables. With the passage of time and the acceptance of salt as socially evil, even common speech aphorisms will have to be modified. Someone is now the “oregano of the earth”, or we will consider someones opinions with ” a grain of nutmeg”. I’m sure it’ll sound better in 10 years.

link Carville: Airport scanners can ‘measure my penis’

Out of adversity comes opportunity they always say, well here’s a goody. All this fooforaw about the implementation of airport scanners can solve a number of problems all at once and in fact can spawn a whole new entertainment idea if we handle this correctly.

Anyone who travels frequently at airports has experienced the long lines, the surly, humorless attendants, the non sensical application of security measures. As a society, we are arguably at our most advanced stage in human history. At airports however, we are relegated to the level of cattle being herded and prodded meekly along the assembly line. Rather than applying intellect and logic to address security issues, the preferred solution is to apply universal strip searches, virtual or otherwise.

This whole thing can be turned on its head. With the imminent implementation of body scanners which some joy killers fret as being invasive, we can make this into mass entertainment! Rather than having the transparent images viewed clinically by a trained (as if) technician who will scrutinize for weapons, contraband and bean burritos, we should project the images onto big screen tv’s for public display!

It’s American Idol meets Candid Camera! Simon? You paying attention? What better way to pass the time quickly while waiting your turn at the xray machine! As each traveller goes through the scanner, their image is projected for mass entertainment!

There will be small betting pools spontaneously created on whether that pretty gal ahead of you is ALL genuine. Money will change hands on which geezer may have an artificial hip or plate implanted in their heads. We can have rating votes transmitted by cell phones. Heck, if nothing else, people will be pushed to get into shape so as to show better on their travel scans, consequently, fitness levels rise overall. Naturally, in some airports, the use of appropriate music can be used, just to add to the festival atmosphere.

The time spent in line during security screening will fly by, no one will mind the 30minute queue. Money will be saved having to hire and train technicians because now, everyone will be looking for stuff, better 600 pairs of eyes than 2. A sense of community and joviality is created where there was once just gulag style misery. The joy in travelling will return.

Out of lemons comes lemonade, our society is eminently adaptable and resilient.