Tombs Of Doom
link Japan earthquake and tsunami: Sales of doomsday nuclear bunkers soars 1000% | Mail Online.
Like a scenario from an Arthur C. Clarke science fiction novel, entrepreneurs are taking advantage of the recent disaster in Japan to capitalize on the fears of a gullible public. Or at least a very small slice of the gullible public, because these disaster shelters are designed to house only 950 people apiece.
Putting aside the mentality of people who would be tempted to partake in this scheme, consider that the real filter will be that of money. At the moment, for the tantalizingly cheap price of $25,000, one is offered a chance at safety should a nuclear disaster strike. That’s cheap! You can’t buy a parking spot for that in New York City.
However, I’ll bet on human nature that as an imminent disaster looks more likely, the owners of this scheme will renege on the deposits and instead, re-sell the spaces to the highest bidders. After all, what are aggrieved people going to do? Sue? “We’ve assigned you a court date in one year”. Therefore, this logically leads us to the worst part of this scheme. The people who will be safely ensconced in these tombs of doom will be people with plenty of financial resources.
Only lots and lots of money will get you in. That means if you’re lucky enough to get a spot, your co-habitants for a year or so will be sports stars, Hollywood celebrities, business moguls, oil sheiks, crime bosses and people who own real estate in Vancouver. Given that, some would rather die a horrible death by radiation, but there will always be detractors. The configuration of the bunkers is an obvious issue. It’s unclear how they will be able to build a space large enough to contain the egos given that all of these constituents are used to having their own expanses of privacy. At 137,000 sq ft per bunker, it’s barely the size of Donald Trump’s guest bathroom. You’d have to believe that there would be room made for chefs, cleaning people, publicists and yoga instructors, all key people in this groups’ entourage. A year without yoga? Please.
It’s unclear how distribution of resources and maintenance of civil decorum will occur in such a close space. Since despised lawyers likely have been forced to populate their own bunkers, the administration of social decorum will at best be decided by the tried and true, rock, paper scissors method, or at worst, the Lord of the Flies method. You can imagine what kind of chaos will erupt when someone consumes all of the Cabernet Franc in the first month. One very serious consideration will be the food supply. While it can be possible to store lots of freeze dried food and water, eventually, you run low. It may be a good idea to have maximum weight limits for prospective buyers because you don’t want them unduly straining resources. So, fat people are out.
If you really subscribe to this scenario though, the best thing to do now is to get into the racket of selling these things as soon as possible. At the very least, you may be able to save up enough to purchase a spot for yourself. The possibility of spending a year with Oprah and the Donald? Priceless.