As IF Times The Anti Fake News

June 23, 2010

What About Cracker Jacks?

link Consumer group targets McDonald’s Happy Meal toys | Reuters.

In ways that make you want to scream, self appointed guardians of correct and acceptable behavior are constantly eroding people’s rights to live lives free from regulatory intrusion.  According to the story, this group, The Center for Science in the Public Interest is leaning on McDonald’s for their devious practice of linking toys to food.  Apparently the evil corporation is causing Pavlovian behaviour among innocent kids while parents stand by helplessly.

Does The Center for Science in the Public Interest not sound like some socialist government big brother agency you would find in an Orwell novel?  Or in China? or North Korea? Or in the old USSR? Who funds these guys? Does the government provide financial support for this group in order to manipulate acceptable behaviour by its own citizens?  You would have to think so given the clout they seem to have.  If this group is self funded, McDonald’s and others should tell them to go eat rice cakes.  

Frankly, if I was the parent of toddlers, I’d be insulted that these geniuses think that they know how to better rear my kids than I do.  Either they don’t  have kids or the ones they have are so spoiled rotten that they think the world needs regulation.  Bribery and inducement have always been the standard operating procedures for liberal parents.  This as opposed to the other, arguably more effective model of beating and berating practiced by most Asian families.  We know what happens to those poor kids: they wind up being doctors, dentists and scientists as revenge on their abusive parents.

But getting back to the bribery model so popular in modern society, eliminating this technique could incur consequences in unexpected ways.  For instance, the unemployment rate among Santa Clauses would spike in December.  The time honored deception of exhorting kids to be nice for fear of incurring Santa’s wrath would be disallowed if this group had their way.  Kids will have to be good for goodness’ sake.  As if.

Doing something in order to get something is the basis for life and is the standard operating procedure in all societies.  It is the basis for all advertising.  It is the basis for all human interaction.  That’s why we buy deodorant, cosmetics, clothes, cars and even homes.  Determining  which incentives are bad and which are good should not be for the government or any quasi government agency to decide in any free society.

What exactly is this consumer groups’ end game?  To bankrupt McDonald’s? To extort money from them for nutrition awareness? To push people off hamburgers?  If the food is so bad for you, why not just make it illegal?  Why not just put warning labels on the food wrappers as they do on cigarette packages?   I suggest perhaps pictures of very fat people on burger wrappers to scare off consumers.  WARNING, EATING THIS BURGER CAN TURN YOU INTO MICHAEL MOORE.  My guess is that at some point, the lure of Shrek toys to buy hamburgers will wane once the toddler gets to oh, say 25 years of age and they develop brain cells and some taste buds.  At some point, he will figure out that the toy isn’t worth eating the burger for.  This is a useful life skill.  At the very least it will prepare them for dating.

June 14, 2010

Burgers and Wienies

Filed under: Culture — Tags: , , , , , , , — TC @ 8:03 am

link AFP: Health experts rap World Cup fast food sponsorship.

Do gooders are scourges.  You can try to escape by enjoying some harmless entertainment such as watching a sporting event or concert, but still they come at you like ants at a picnic.  All you ask for is a simple break from the rigors of life and not have to deal with all the rules and restrictions that society places upon us.

In this article, ‘experts’ are attacking the sponsorship by Budweiser, Coca Cola and McDonald’s of the World Cup soccer tournament because they represent unhealthy food choices. Why don’t they just attack eating?

Those that think that spectator sports in general but soccer in particular should be venues associated with “healthy” eating are social nerwins whose idea of fun and excitement is to own the most recent game app for their Ipod.   Like most big scale sporting events, soccer is a stylized game of war in which fans express their tribal convictions fueled by alcohol and hedonistic fast foods.  That’s the way it is.  It is not the opera. It is not a spelling bee. It is not meant to be healthy.   The enthusiasm of any crowd would be seriously impeded if all they had to consume or throw at the players in disgust was iced tea and granola bars.  Besides, those kinds of products don’t have the ring of normal sports sponsors.  Can you imagine the ad guys trying to make, “The World Cup of Soccer, brought to you by Kellogg’s Bran Flakes” into a jingle?

A cynical person would think that all of this tsk tsking of these sponsors is really about not letting men have any enjoyment since most sports fans are men.  However, the story includes some statistics regarding, how shall we say, zaftig women as well.  In fact, the article states that:

“…A recent report by the national Heart Foundation found that 29 percent of South African men and 56 percent of women are overweight…”

If we accept that most sports fans are men and they would be the sponsors’ targets, what do tubby women  have to do with these food sponsors at a soccer game?  Clearly, the women are getting their bad food influences from somewhere else.  Perhaps from watching Oprah.  Therefore, all this sanctimonious babble is really anti-West or more particularly anti-American.  Are there any more iconic names in American consumer foods than Budweiser, Coca Cola or McDonald’s? Underlying the facade of urging people to eat “healthier” is a current of antipathy towards these representatives of American influence. 

Another line from the health gestapo is also amusing:

“…But it would be a great boost for public health around the world if FIFA could show real leadership on this issue by announcing it will not consider companies that promote unhealthy products as sponsors or partners in future…”

Really?  FIFA is regarded as a world trend setter and leader in social issues?  Like the NFL or NHL, or NBA, have these organizations been masquerading as sports organizations all this time?   Well if so, they must all be chastised for not paying enough attention to teen pregnancy, gay rights and global warming.  It must be galling to many that despite all efforts, the impact of America through their cultural influences, affect the world in so many far reaching ways, even in the most non American sports event, soccer.  I think it’s time for these companies to tell these modern day Gladys Crabbits’ to mind their own business and let people have some unfettered enjoyment in their lives.  Tell them to take their thinly veiled anti Americanism to France or Iran where they willingly accept that kind of propaganda. 

Or, they can drum up groups to sponsor their own PC events.  I suspect that the only sponsors interested would be wienie makers.

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