As IF Times

Source: Neighbors Of Harrisburg Teen Charged With Supporting ISIS Express Disbelief « CBS Philly

Why is Twitter even something that people do? Why do people Tweet?  How did the world get along without this stupid app?  I’m not even sure of how to use the word.  I guess it’s a verb, as in I twit you, or I twitter you.  If in a bar, do you tell someone to twitter you? Would they twitter you later, after dinner perhaps? Is it a noun, as in he’s a twitter, or they’re all twitters? If it’s singular, does that make someone a twit?

This useless app was invented on the heels of the success of all social media phenomenon beginning of course with Facebook.  In the case of Facebook, the app at least makes some sense as social voyeurs and exhibitionists alike could satisfy their particular needs.  In the case of Twitter, it appears that the utterances of a few celebrities or personalities are so compelling that subscribing to their timely bon mots is a must do.  It’s a bit of an evolution from the days of gathering around Moses while he reads pronouncements from a stone tablet.  But you’d think that based on the popularity of the app, that the pronouncements made by present day social deities are no less sage.

Why can’t people wait until the 6 pm news to know what Kim thinks? Why do we need to instantly know that she just bought a tennis bracelet for her cat? Why would any sane person need to be piped in to Al Gore’s recent verbal discharge?  According to Google, the accounts with the largest followings include Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift and Barack Obama.  Wait…Barack Obama?

Unless you’re a spy, the compunction to be a twitter user implies that someone else’s life is more interesting than your own. It actually accentuates the very human tendency to listen to those views that are already agreeable to their own.  The more people that are in that echo chamber, the more it reinforces and validates their own worldview.  As the top twitter personalities above indicate, this is the realm of 12 year old girls.  This is the constituency of those that wait breathlessly for every word from their idols.

It’s actually brilliant marketing, since they don’t stop making 12 year old girls which come with their natural need to be part of a popular mob.  It’s curious that some people never outgrow that though. That’s why they’re called followers.

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Just as the most recent breathless headline on Kim is released, it finally dawns on me that Kim and Hillary have the same public relations company pushing their respective brands.   For the public relations company, it’s a bonus because they do their work with exactly the same material, but get paid twice for it.

The parallels are blatantly evident once you analyze the circumstances of the two women.   Firstly, neither one of them have done anything in their lives that would beget the kind of merciless exposure and adulation that the media creates for them.  They are both famous for being famous, just like the immortal Rula Lenska of the 1960’s VO5 commercials.

Both have come to fame as a function of their relationships to famous men and both have had elements of questionable morality tied to their rise to public prominence.   Next to Oprah, they are probably the most recognized female faces in America.  As pointed out in earlier pieces, the public is fed a regular diet of Kim-isms including her most revelation of sex 500 times  a day, presumably with her hubby Kanye.  I didn’t even think that human skin could take that kind of wear.  There seems to be a loyal fan-base out there hungering for every morsel of her life.

The same can be said of course for Hillary, whose burning desire to attain the office of President of the United States is the worst kept secret since Neil Patrick Harris revealed that he was gay.  Despite having no real record of accomplishment other than being a darling of the Democratic machine, she has had, on paper at least, a most stellar political career, achieving senator status in New York, then on to being appointed US Secretary of State and now of course the presumptive shoe in for the Democratic nomination in 2016.  This presumed fait accompli is worn by Hillary as obviously as Kim’s cleavage for an evening out on the town.  The intellectual gulf between the two women is laughably wide of course, but in terms of milking the crowd, they are both equals.

There is a line that claims that the easiest way to silence a Democrat is to ask them to point out Hillary’s accomplishments.  Like Kim, while being admired and even revered by loyal fans, Hillary’s position of fame and reverence is in the absence of having done anything in her life that would justify them.

But, as we all know, that doesn’t disqualify one from becoming President.