As IF Times

link White House Task Force Seeks Fight on Childhood Obesity – Political Hotsheet – CBS News.

War on two fronts in the middle east.  Crushing government debt loads in all nations.  Out of control health care costs.  U.S. immigration showdown. Nuclear arming of rogue states. Calamitous oil gusher in gulf of Mexico.  Stubbornly high domestic unemployment.  These will now take secondary consideration by the White House now that “Childhood Obesity” is now the crisis du jour.

The steady march continues in the erosion of personal freedoms and responsibilities as the government officially dubs fat kids a crisis that requires government intervention.  We know how this will play out because we’ve seen it all before in other crisis du jours from the recent past.  Slick marketing and propaganda machinery will be employed to convince the public that such a thing actually exists, similar to global warming.  No doubt, nutritionists/pathologists and psychologists will be employed to plead the case to the general public.  In co-ordination, Hollywood will be engaged to champion the cause to fertile and naive minds.  Remember Sally Struthers years ago with her doe eyes pleading for money to feed hungry children?  Now it’ll be the opposite.  We’ll have washed up stars pleading with kids to forgo the big mac, the slurpee or the fried chicken.  It won’t be Sean Penn, he already has a cause, communism, so it will have to be someone with some kind of respect. 

I”m sure they’ll find someone suitable, after all, Hollywood is full of people living healthy normal non addictive lifestyles.  I can even think of slogans for any rappers who care to champion the cause.  “Do da weed, dis da feed”, or ” bein’ big fat, ain’t where it at”.  How about more mainstream slogans, ” eat like a bird, pass on thirds”.  An entire new industry is created to “help the kids”.  Telethons, marathons, bowl-a-thons, sing alongs, everything except eat-a-thons to encourage food abstinence.

As any experienced parent knows, to forbid any activity from your children is an open invitation for them to do exactly the opposite. Years of admonitions not to use narcotic drugs has only ballooned the size of the population doing them, so much so that it’s a mainstream phenomenon, not the isolated activity a few dopeheads participated in 30 years ago.  Oddly, while cigarette smoking has managed to reach pariah status, the smoking of marijuana is an acceptable activity.   When the new food nazis arrive, rebel kids can be found lurking in groups beyond the school grounds sneaking and sharing tubs of fried chicken with gravy. 

So in this new campaign to encourage thinnner kids, fat kids will be subject to even more ridicule and derision.  Not only that, but their parents will be exposed to an entirely new social dynamic as their children are compared to each other at parties like status symbols.  “My little Johnny has only 1% body fat, we only feed him kibble once a day”.  Parents of fat kids will not showcase them at parties, pretending that they are off at law school somewhere.

Speaking of law, that is the logical extension of how this campaign will roll out.  Initially, restaurants and purveyors of food deemed “not acceptable’ by some bureaucracy will need to have special licenses to operate.  The second stage is to make kids carry licenses or permits to carry certain kinds of food. 

“Can I see the permit for that bucket of chicken son?”

“Uh, I left it at home..”

“Please come with me, you can call your parents from the jailhouse”

And so the criminal population grows…..