As IF Times

link FOXNews.com – Al Qaeda, Apparently Short on Funds, Calls for Donations in Third Recent Appeal.

“Hey Abdul, what about a telethon to raise funds?”

“You idiot Ahmed, we can’t have telethons, the Americans will triangulate our positions and besides, cable service is hard to get in caves”

“You have a point Abdul.  How about running info-mercials with some sympathy evoking theme?  I’ve seen these in the West when I was going to school there.  We can show images of a sad young man, Mahmoud, who is despondent because all of his other pals have the money to be suicide bombers, but he has none.  We can get sympathy from the public because he will be the only one without access to 72 virgins!”

“That still costs money.  Do you realize how much it costs for a spot on Afghanistan Idol? Especially now that they have that kid on there doing rap versions of the Koran.  He’ll get a record deal for sure.  That girl doing the Britney Spears knock off is iffy.  What in Allah does If You Seek Amy mean anyway? Kids these days.  When I was a boy, all we wanted to do was to serve Allah, now all they care about are Ipods and music.  We should blow up Apple’s headquarters in Cupertino just to show ’em.”

“Can’t we just hit the Saudis up for dough like we usually do?”

“They’re reluctant to spend now that real estate is collapsing there, something about leverage.  Selfish bastards.  We can’t get a few more bombs because the Prince needs a new addtion for his 14th wife who needs more room.  Hello! Why not stop at 12 wives like every one else?  Always trying to keep up appearances.  I see where their kids are crashing Lambos in London, but they can’t fund another container of RPG’s for us?

“Hey Abdul, why can’t we be the ones living in London driving Lambos and living like international playboys?”

“Ahmed, don’t you remember what we’ve been told?  They are the ones suffering by living among infidels and whores; spending money, living in palaces and having dozens of girlfriends.  That is the suffering they must endure.  At the end of it all, we are luckier, because we get 72 virgins.  They will get a lesser, pro-rated amount.  We are the greater warriors for the cause.”

“Those poor bastards.”

“Besides, they have to spend  big money to get houses, cars and girls.  We can get all that stuff for free…just go to California.”

“Hey, speaking of California, don’t all the entertainment idiots live there in Hollywood?

“Yes why?”

“Maybe we can get THEM to raise money for us!  They love Castro and Chavez, why not us?”

“Hmmm……”