As IF Times

link Al-Qaeda magazines become slicker, niche-oriented – USATODAY.com.

Luckily for readers of this blog, we’ve been able to get an early preview of the latest edition of Al-Qaeda Today.  Some of the articles include:

Hot Spring Suicide Colors – Whites and Blacks are out, bright pastels are in.  See the hottest suicide gear from Europe. 

Grooming Tips – What are the hottest fragrances?  What the hip bombers are wearing.

The New Youth Movement – How younger bombers are undermining the classically trained ones.  Are Ipods in the field sacrilegious?

Are You Prepared For 72? – What to say when first meeting your new fan base.  Also, what if they’re not your type? 

Other Career Choices – Is a position in Cell Leadership less fulfilling?

Credit Blues – simple and obvious solutions; go for the 30 year loan.

The Bucket List – Things to do and places to visit before you go, part 2 of a series.

Hot Food and Wine Pairings – Will Pinot work well with Camel for the last meal?

The success of this publication has been unexpected as circulation increases by the tens every month.  Of course, they lose about that amount every month as well.  Still, the proliferation of the Bomber lifestyle has spawned imitators.  Apparently, a copycat publication, Today’s Modern Bomber is about to launch as well, but intended to capture a wider, hopefully western audience.  This magazine will address green and other sustainability issues involved with modern explosives.   There will be hard hitting interviews with the likes of Michael Moore and Al Gore, which will serve to convince readers that the West does indeed need to be obliterated.  There’s also talk that there will be a centerfold section, entitled Burqua Babe of the month, but the sensibilities of women’s groups may nix this.   The real brilliance will be the creation of an IPad Edition so subscribers can get access in the field.  This will have an interactive on-line bombing game simulation.  You have to cater to the youth demographic these days.

link BBC News – Newsnight – Yemen al-Qaeda link to Guantanamo Bay prison

Not sure of the point of this story. We are informed that some ex-residents of Guantanamo prison were released a couple of years ago. They were sent to Saudi Arabia for rehab, only to fall off the wagon. They slipped into Yemen and got back with the boys in the hood, er the dunes.

In fact, two of these guys, Mohammed al-Awfi and Said al-Shihri were ambitious enough to found their own Al Qaeda chapter, even getting their own acronym, AQAP. Apparently, they were none too impressed with the rehab stint in Saudi Arabia, so they set about returning to their unsociable ways even making a recruiting video. This impressed numerous conscripts to their cause including the now famous undie bomber this past Christmas.

Oddly, al-Awfi returned to Saudi Arabia and gave it all up because according to him,

“…it was because he had received a phone call from his wife telling him to return to look after her and the children…”

!!!! That’s it???!! The wife says, “you get your sorry butt back here and look after us or I’ll send you to 20 virgins myself” and he returns??

As the writer suspects, there’s probably more to this story than is being revealed by al-Awfi, though of course, we’ve never met his wife. We’re not sure if the idea is to convince us that rehab actually works, or that prisoners should not be released in the first place.

The descriptions of ‘enhanced interrogation’ are not for the squeamish as anyone who has watched the recent Casino Royale James Bond movie will attest, for it sounds like the techniques were lifted straight from the movie. It should be pointed out that this allegedly occurred in Afghanistan, not Gitmo. It should also be pointed out that to expect to be treated otherwise is pretty naive considering they were in the blowing up innocent people business. I would say he’s pretty fortunate to be now living in relative luxury and comfort given the escapades he’s been involved with.

Maybe he’s being sincere. If so, he should maybe star in a video telling others in the fuse business that it’s all wrong, that no religion should be offing disbelievers, even if they are infidels. Of course, the video would be more convincing without his wife hovering nearby with a rolling pin in hand.

As for fighting the war on terror, how about researching the idea of marrying off all the single guys in that part of the world, it seems pretty effective.