Airport scanners can ‘measure my penis’
link Carville: Airport scanners can ‘measure my penis’
Out of adversity comes opportunity they always say, well here’s a goody. All this fooforaw about the implementation of airport scanners can solve a number of problems all at once and in fact can spawn a whole new entertainment idea if we handle this correctly.
Anyone who travels frequently at airports has experienced the long lines, the surly, humorless attendants, the non sensical application of security measures. As a society, we are arguably at our most advanced stage in human history. At airports however, we are relegated to the level of cattle being herded and prodded meekly along the assembly line. Rather than applying intellect and logic to address security issues, the preferred solution is to apply universal strip searches, virtual or otherwise.
This whole thing can be turned on its head. With the imminent implementation of body scanners which some joy killers fret as being invasive, we can make this into mass entertainment! Rather than having the transparent images viewed clinically by a trained (as if) technician who will scrutinize for weapons, contraband and bean burritos, we should project the images onto big screen tv’s for public display!
It’s American Idol meets Candid Camera! Simon? You paying attention? What better way to pass the time quickly while waiting your turn at the xray machine! As each traveller goes through the scanner, their image is projected for mass entertainment!
There will be small betting pools spontaneously created on whether that pretty gal ahead of you is ALL genuine. Money will change hands on which geezer may have an artificial hip or plate implanted in their heads. We can have rating votes transmitted by cell phones. Heck, if nothing else, people will be pushed to get into shape so as to show better on their travel scans, consequently, fitness levels rise overall. Naturally, in some airports, the use of appropriate music can be used, just to add to the festival atmosphere.
The time spent in line during security screening will fly by, no one will mind the 30minute queue. Money will be saved having to hire and train technicians because now, everyone will be looking for stuff, better 600 pairs of eyes than 2. A sense of community and joviality is created where there was once just gulag style misery. The joy in travelling will return.
Out of lemons comes lemonade, our society is eminently adaptable and resilient.