As IF Times

Today’s article written by guest author, EL.

Apparently, the hockey bros have emerged from their two-year hibernation—shivering behind homemade plexiglass, elbow-bumping each other through Zoom—and decided now is the time to “take a stand.” Brave stuff, boys. Nothing screams “defender of freedom” like finally speaking up when there’s zero risk and maximum optics.

Let’s cut through the Tim Hortons fumes: #ElbowsUp is cosplay patriotism. It’s a rebrand for the same people who spent COVID clapping like trained seals for government overreach, but now want to wear plaid and act like they were in the trenches the whole time. Spoiler: they weren’t. They were online ratting out their neighbors for having more than six people over for Thanksgiving.

But now? Oh now they’re ready. Now that it’s trendy. Now that defending Canada is as easy as posting a selfie in a red flannel with a caption like “Don’t mess with the North.”

Where were those elbows when small businesses were being crushed under the boot of arbitrary mandates? Where were those elbows when you needed a permission slip to leave the country? Where were those elbows when the government decided which forms of protest were “approved” and which got you financially erased?

I’ll tell you where they were: folded politely in a Zoom town hall, nodding along while some bureaucrat explained why your kid couldn’t play outside. Now the same people who once wore three masks to go pumpkin picking want to body check foreign policy. Sure. Let me know how that works out when the next variant drops. This isn’t patriotism. It’s TikTok nationalism.

It’s the same kind of lazy self-branding that gave us “Live, Laugh, Love”—only now it’s “Post, Pout, Pretend You Fought for It.”

And look, I’m not against Canada standing up for itself. But if this is our resistance—if this is the big cultural counterstrike—we might as well hoist the white flag, slap a maple leaf on it, and livestream the surrender with patriotic lo-fi beats in the background.

So to the #ElbowsUp crowd: congratulations. You’ve finally found your backbone—just two years after it mattered.

Better late than never, I guess.

But don’t expect a parade and for sure don’t drive trucks around with Elbow logos.

You already had your moment.

And you elbowed right past it.

In case no one has noticed, politics is big business. But it wasn’t always this way. Before the big change in 1776, the world was run pretty much the way it’s always been run. Small groups of rulers and oligarchs made the laws and everyone just went along with the edicts from on high. They could pretty much do as they wished to make themselves and their families comfortable.  Their fortunes were dependant on the masses paying taxes to support their lifestyles.  Failure to comply with official edicts meant that you would be visited by humorless enforcers of the realm and all sorts of unpleasant things would happen to you and your family.

This worked pretty well for the ruling classes for centuries, until some breakaway pilgrims in the lands of the new world, which would eventually become America, expressed dissatisfaction with the way things were run and decided to band together and revolt against the overlords in England.  As you’d expect, the Brits, at the time the most powerful military force in the world, dispatched some troops to quell the knaves who dared to protest their rule.

This didn’t end well for the Brits, as the upstart colonies beat back the world’s mightiest military force and the ensuing war founded the first democracy styled nation in history. Why did the Americans win?  In my opinion, it was not only to protect their families but more importantly to protect a principle; that men should have a say in how laws govern them.  The soldiers of England were just hired conscripts who just did as they were ordered.

Thus began the new tradition of nations that were created to be governed by people who represented the interests of their constituency rather than by regal decree. In the beginning, these positions were voluntary and hence the label of ‘honorable’ was conferred upon such representatives, since no pay was involved.  How quaint.

Fast forward several hundred years and the model of representative government became more and more widespread as the powers of existing monarchies and kingdoms declined.  To this day, some form of representative government is seen as the type most favored in what are considered to be free nations.  We know this because there is a constant influx of people trying to get into these nations from those that are more authoritarian.

A funny thing happened on the way to democracy though.  As nations became wealthier and populations grew, so did the size of the institutions required to manage the affairs of the state.  As people became wealthier, their immediate existential needs fell to the background and thus there was less urgency to have responsible representation.  Gradually, political office transformed from being a responsible civic service, to becoming a viable vocation in and of itself.  People with no real life skills were able to get into political office to make decisions that adversely affected possibly millions of constituents, even as fewer and fewer people bothered to vote. There are countless examples of such individuals in the world today, but in the US, people such as Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Cortez come to mind.

The other aspect which aids in the corruption of the political process is the professional politician’s powerful tool of choice: polls.  Apart from hyperbole, polls are the most important tool in the arsenal of modern politicians.  Regardless of the politician’s actual position on a topic, the tool by which they get elected, is always polls.  Thus, their fortunes are guided by what the pollsters reveal from the public on any given issue.  The classic situation is the famous John Kerry line about “…“I actually did vote for the $87 Billion before I voted against it…” Thus they simply tack against whichever way the winds of social opinion blows.  It’s not well known that the expression, ‘flip flop’, was coined in honor of Kerry.  Possibly the only person in recent experience who presented policy without regard to polls, is Donald Trump.  Otherwise, virtually all politicians will measure public opinion before stating a position.

But the main objective of poll usage is to get into office.  Once in office, it’s clear sailing because they would generally be free to do whatever they wanted for their term. Suddenly their views of what’s appropriate for the populace overrides anything they may have said to get elected.  It’s as if you ordered a rib eye steak at a restaurant but they served you quinoa and goat bladder instead; because according to their views, it’s better for you.  Deal with it.

Far gone are the days of dutiful public service.  Politics is now a legitimate career choice with paid compensation well above real work in the private sector.  Not only are they paid well, they can vote themselves increases at will and can live in palatial homes paid for by the public.   They can do pretty much what they want to make themselves and their colleagues comfortable.  Edicts and laws are passed regardless of the impact on their subjects.  Failure to comply with official edicts meant that you would be visited by humorless enforcers of the realm and all sorts of unpleasant things would happen to you and your family.

Why does that sound familiar?