As IF Times

history of useless inventions: chindogu.

In the news recently are increasing  reports of people apparently not knowing how to turn off their cars.  After just a little over a hundred years of having  automobiles become a mainstay of our everyday lives, you would think that aspect of car ownership would be pretty much solved. 

In the very early stages of the automobile, starting a car wasn’t exactly a flick of the wrist.  You were required to throw that scarf around you neck and stoop down at the front of the contraption, pushing mightily on a removable crankshaft until the engine sputtered to life. Soot and greasy hands were always an issue and that’s why driving gloves were required of motorists.  If you didn’t have those and a handlebar moustache, you couldn’t expect to drive.

Some years later, someone invented the ignition key as means of turning on or off the car.  A pretty reasonable invention which all manufacterers adopted and soon the hand crankshaft went the way of driving goggles and handlebar moustaches.  Recently many car makers in the spirit of chindogu as explained in the link above, have moved towards allowing cars to ‘intelligently’ sense that their owners were nearby because of an electronic fob in their pockets.  This fob would automatically unlock the doors and allow starting of the car by pressing a button on the dash or console.  Apparently, clicking a fob and then turning it in an ignition slot to start or stop the car was seen as too onerous a task for most people. 

This has created a new set of problems.  Apparently, some people cannot figure out how to turn off their cars in an emergency and in some cases, the cars are left running unknowingly until discovered 7 hours later.  There was a report of a driver who didn’t know how to immobilize his Toyota Avalon.  Apparently, there are procedures that drivers have to become familiar with other than just turning off  a key.  The word ‘chindogu’ referenced in the link specifically refers to inventions that are purely for the sake of ingenuity without necessarily commercial utility and I believe this new method of starting or stopping cars comes perilously close to being the poster item for this definition.

In the old days, watching TV shows such as Star Trek,  it was  amusing that the doors would slide open automatically when someone approached.   It seems cool, but in practice, it’s mostly useless in real life.  If you can’t even be bothered to turn the handle on a door,  that pretty much says you’d better sign up for a personal trainer.

This key fob ignition is somewhat reminiscent of the “New Coke” product some years back.  It was an unmitigated flop and soon the product was retired and the classic Coke was brought back as the mainstay.  Perhaps this fob/ignition thing  is a fad.  Perhaps it will go the way of New Coke, or electric dog polishers, or butter from a roll-on stick.  If it does, then it’s legtimate chindogu.

If   however, more of these kinds of  ” convenience” inventions are brought out to make driving easier and with less input from the operator, I humbly submit that such an  invention already exists.  It’s called  a taxi.

President Barack Obama, accompanied by Education Secretary Arne … – Yahoo! News Photos.

A few years ago when the Canadian Prime Minister Harper was first elected to office, a phalanx of reporters and camera crews followed him to his son’s school where Mr. Harper stiffly sent his son off with a formal handshake.  The media in Canada, with it’s notable left bias painted this scene as  proof of Mr. Harper’s cold personality and to reinforce why Canadians couldn’t warm up to him.

Contrast this to the present day in the United States where the current President is acclaimed to possess other earthly communications abilities and especially praised for his skills in oratory.  There have been the odd criticisms of his use of teleprompters during all of his major speeches, but I suppose we can cut him some slack there because of the serious material involved.  At least we know he’s a good reader.

It is amusing though, to see the picture above where the President is addressing a grade 6 classroom fully armed with teleprompters, looking as if he were addressing a throng of thousands.  Notice the serious G man behind him at the podium.  A number of possible conclusions can be drawn from this image.  First, it’s possible that the message to be conveyed to the sixth graders is so complex that teleprompters are necessary to keep the message on track. 

Secondly, it’s possible that he cannot even be called upon to give a simple speech to these kids with any spontaneity and therefore he relies on a canned deliverance.

Thirdly, the formerly appreciative audiences for his speeches, ie; voting adults,  are indifferent to his  messages and therefore he is now moving to influence a younger audience.

Fourthly, there is the possibility that the classroom setting is merely a prop for a speech and the kids are irrelevant.

If I was betting, I’d go with number 3.