As IF Times

link Cows absolved of causing global warming with nitrous oxide – Telegraph.

Good thing, or we’d have had the mother of all barbecues.  On the other hand, imagine what could have happened if the musings of a bunch of grad students got the ear of let’s say, Al Gore.  Imagine that millions and millions of cows would have their fates sealed because someone thought cows passed too much gas. 

So, consider this scenario;   there you are, a cow, minding your own business, when a bunch of flunkies decides that you are a pest to the environment and presto, you are on the green hit list.  How absurd. 

 Imagine in a Gary Larsonish world where the cows get to make the decisions.  As they stand around chewing their cuds and releasing pleasant gases, they ruminate on which parts of the human population are bad for the environment.

Well the first group on the suspect list would be those who let off the most obnoxious gases.  Shazam!  Lawyers, politicians and many university professors jump to the top of the list.  Who else blows off a lot of hot air and makes lots of useless noise?  Well, another set of candidates would be actors.  What about newspaper people?  They cause acres and acres of trees to be chopped down to create newsprint for useless drivel which then goes from birdcage to landfill. 

As cows do some more research on the causes of global warming and how to resolve it, they come to an interesting conclusion.  The rise of global warming is in direct correlation to the incidence of lawyers, politicians and newspapers.  Whereas cows and sheep have been around for centuries, it’s only with the recent mushrooming lawyer and politician populations that a crisis has emerged.  Hmm too much of a coincidence?