As IF Times

history of useless inventions: chindogu.

In the news recently are increasing  reports of people apparently not knowing how to turn off their cars.  After just a little over a hundred years of having  automobiles become a mainstay of our everyday lives, you would think that aspect of car ownership would be pretty much solved. 

In the very early stages of the automobile, starting a car wasn’t exactly a flick of the wrist.  You were required to throw that scarf around you neck and stoop down at the front of the contraption, pushing mightily on a removable crankshaft until the engine sputtered to life. Soot and greasy hands were always an issue and that’s why driving gloves were required of motorists.  If you didn’t have those and a handlebar moustache, you couldn’t expect to drive.

Some years later, someone invented the ignition key as means of turning on or off the car.  A pretty reasonable invention which all manufacterers adopted and soon the hand crankshaft went the way of driving goggles and handlebar moustaches.  Recently many car makers in the spirit of chindogu as explained in the link above, have moved towards allowing cars to ‘intelligently’ sense that their owners were nearby because of an electronic fob in their pockets.  This fob would automatically unlock the doors and allow starting of the car by pressing a button on the dash or console.  Apparently, clicking a fob and then turning it in an ignition slot to start or stop the car was seen as too onerous a task for most people. 

This has created a new set of problems.  Apparently, some people cannot figure out how to turn off their cars in an emergency and in some cases, the cars are left running unknowingly until discovered 7 hours later.  There was a report of a driver who didn’t know how to immobilize his Toyota Avalon.  Apparently, there are procedures that drivers have to become familiar with other than just turning off  a key.  The word ‘chindogu’ referenced in the link specifically refers to inventions that are purely for the sake of ingenuity without necessarily commercial utility and I believe this new method of starting or stopping cars comes perilously close to being the poster item for this definition.

In the old days, watching TV shows such as Star Trek,  it was  amusing that the doors would slide open automatically when someone approached.   It seems cool, but in practice, it’s mostly useless in real life.  If you can’t even be bothered to turn the handle on a door,  that pretty much says you’d better sign up for a personal trainer.

This key fob ignition is somewhat reminiscent of the “New Coke” product some years back.  It was an unmitigated flop and soon the product was retired and the classic Coke was brought back as the mainstay.  Perhaps this fob/ignition thing  is a fad.  Perhaps it will go the way of New Coke, or electric dog polishers, or butter from a roll-on stick.  If it does, then it’s legtimate chindogu.

If   however, more of these kinds of  ” convenience” inventions are brought out to make driving easier and with less input from the operator, I humbly submit that such an  invention already exists.  It’s called  a taxi.

.Sex Robot – Roxxxy Rocky True Companion Robot – Cosmopolitan.com

Oh as if.  For the past 50 odd years, an entire industry, probably  bigger than any other on the planet, has grown around the notion of  women’s insecurity about themselves.  That is not to say that women historically have never cared about their appearance and presentation, but in simpler times, it was confined to such things such as looking presentable and smelling nice.  Ostensibly, you w0uld think that these pursuits are for the intent of attracting males, but I’ve heard women say that these efforts are for other women…whatever that means.

 I don’t begrudge the beauty and perfume business to embellish women’s charms, in fact,  I think they are great blessings for men, even godsends.   I am amused at the magazines and media that purport to tell women how to carry themselves in every aspect of their daily lives.  When you look at the agenda of many women’s magazines, the subtext is usually about fashion, sex advice and dating tips.  We’re not talking about lighting incense candles here, the topics in today’s magazines concern such things as “crazy hot sex moves”  or “positions”.

It’s actually a very fine dance to give women the message of empowerment, but to also imply that you’d better wear this color outfit, wear that color lip gloss, or have your hair in the au courant style.  Nevertheless, there must be a sizable audience for this kind of advice because of the proliferation of magazines such as Cosmopolitan.

On the other side of the gender fence, men’s magazines have also begun to flourish in the past 15 years or so.  In the old days, a men’s magazine was about women.  Apparently men are more into themselves now and would rather ogle themselves than other gals.  The front covers of Men’s Health or Men’s Fitness have the identical headlines from month to month.  If all that ab bustin’, sex tipping, career boosting, calorie helpin’ advice was any good, why would you have to have a monthly magazine to say the same thing?

As an aside, I have always wondered about Runner’s World.  Really?  A magazine about running?  What are the exciting headlines, “Do you really need to alternate feet?”, “Tread Patterns for the New Year”?

Getting back to gender magazines and advice, all that this navel gazing advice has done is create a population of neurotic people.  There are ideals put forth that are aspired to but never reachable.   The consequence is the subject of  the linked article.  They are making robots now with the ideal gender characteristics.  I seem to recall a story recently about a man marrying such a  robot in Japan, but perhaps it was an Onion story. 

 Assuming most will not go the robot route for mates, we can expect dissatisfaction to be standard among people as they have to settle for 2nds and 3rds in their real lives.  If they don’t settle, they’ll wind up waiting and risking their own sell by date as they wait for the perfect specimen.   Better stock up on cologne and foundation.