As IF Times

Source: Lashana Lynch will play 007 in new James Bond movie: report

According to this line from the linked story, the creators wanted to “to modernize the franchise criticized by many as being too dated and sexist.” I’ll bet Ian Fleming is shaking and stirring in his grave over what has happened to his original spy thriller stories.  As some may know, Fleming was a British intelligence officer operating in the uncertain world which was cold war Europe in the 1960’s. He likely drew from his experiences in the shadowy world of no holds barred espionage and embellished them with an active imagination to produce one of the most iconic characters in popular fiction and subsequently, the entertainment business.

As usually happens when commercial forces gets a hold of a successful franchise, the Bond mystique has morphed over the decades from being a daring cloak and dagger operator,  into the cartoon like character we now see over the past generations.  From a story line geared towards adults, the Bond franchise has devolved into films with video game like scenarios to appeal to the A.D.D. crowd.  Each film now has a gossamer thin plot line connected by 90 minutes of car chases, explosions, super human feats of agility and an exaggerated Bond insouciance.  It resembles Fast and Furious but with occasional tuxedos and evening gowns and fewer tattoos. It’s all about money.

The first crack in the franchise happened when they decided to cast Judy Dench as M.  Some may have noticed the disappearance of Miss Moneypenny over recent episodes, she of Bond groupie fame.  We definitely don’t see Bond slapping her on the butt as in the early days.  Having to write a subplot of an harassment suit into the show would destroy the flow of the narrative. Although, I can definitely see an LGBT person taking on that role in future films…or a robot…or an animal depending on the state of society by then.  In earlier episodes of the franchise, Bond had to often physically contend with brutish Slavic thugs in life and death hand to hand combat.  As time went on, the fights stretched a bit of credulity, taking on a video game-like feel, but now we are to believe that a slightly built woman will be just as good in such instances.  Okay….

We’re not really sure which audience this ‘freshened up’ franchise is supposed to address.  The latte sipping, vegan, gender confused, safe space, bicycle short wearing crowd shouldn’t be interested in someone employing duplicity, kung fu fighting and other assorted violence for the benefit of a nation…which they think is oppressive anyway. Bond used to be an agent working to further the aims of the West against a Communist East Bloc. What is Bond supposed to be fighting now? Brexiteers?

I’m not sure how gripping the narrative will be as the audience adjusts not only to a black female secret agent, but also to her driving a Tesla instead of an Aston Martin and drinking soy oatmeal smoothies instead of martinis.  On the other hand, given the PC environment and our modern reality, she may actually still be seducing women like Bond of old.  Though the plotline is not yet out, we can expect that her mission will include taking out plastic straw makers and global warming deniers.

The real world has experienced an Alice In Wonderland perversion of most every facet of normal life.  People are gaslit daily on what constitutes unimpeachable fact.  Even the most elementary observation of the sexes is now not so obvious.  Apparently sex is a social construct, not a biological fact.  As some wise guy noted, it’s amazing that throughout hundreds of excavations of ancient civilizations they’ve only ever encountered two sexes.  Suddenly in the past decade, there are dozens.  Apparently, crime is good, cops are now bad.  Single is good, families bad.  Hot days are proof of climate change; conveniently, so are cold days.  Maleness is oppressive, but males in female sports is ok.  I can go on.  That’s real life today and somehow we deal with it.

But novels and characters.  Leave them alone.  They are the product of someone’s imagination and they capture periods of history and reflect their cultural zeitgeist.  People can do whatever they choose to make current history, but leave the old stuff well enough alone.  The new breed of idiots are not just rewriting history, they’re rewriting fiction!

Source: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi: Washington Post criticized for austere headline

There’s an old saying that goes, “when your adversary is digging himself into a hole, stand back and let him finish”.  The amusing headline from the Washington Post characterizing the death of the top ISIS leader at the hands of US forces was a backhoe’s worth of dirt, even considering the tons of earth they’ve moved over the years.  Wanting to be known as the beacon of truth, their masthead’s byline reads, “Democracy Dies In Darkness”.  Well someone had better find the light switch over there, because they seem to be vying with the satire of The Babylon Bee for the most preposterous headlines and stories.

The obituary reads, “Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, austere religious scholar at helm of Islamic State, dies at 48.”

We know that very soon, the meme machine will be working overtime on the internet to come out with some other re-writes of famous historical figures.

“Adolph Hitler, Thoughtful art collector and eloquent speechwriter found dead in apparent murder suicide with his wife Eva in the basement of his quiet home”

“Benito Mussolini, journalist, good friend of the art collector Adolf Hitler and respected leader of the Italian nation through the tumultuous years of World War 2,  passes away from assassination by disgruntled soldiers at the end of the war.  A public funeral was held at the Piazzele Loreto in Milan. He was only 61.”

“Mao Tse Tung, leader of the most populous nation on earth passed away at the young age of 82. He was an accomplished  demographics expert, managing to cull over 20 million people from the nation of China during his reign.  He commanded respect from his people and many in the nation took to wearing clothing that emulated his grey tunic during his life.  Actually, everyone did.  To this day, his ideology is celebrated by politicians, basketball players and actors in many western nations.”

“Jeffrey Dahmer, noted gastronomic adventurer, dies at the age of 34 while living in a state sponsored home.  He was apparently killed by a roommate in a dispute over differences of food tastes.”

“Pol Pot, leader of the Khmer Rouge dead at 63.  The Khmer Rouge pioneered the mass deployment of approximately 3 million people into the fields of the country to ease the stress upon the big cities.”

“The Washington Post, in the midst of a protracted death from massive declining readership and interest in fantasy literature.  The writing was on the wall when people stopped keeping birds and no longer required cage liners.”