As IF Times

link The Associated Press: AP Exclusive: Playboy `readers’ get 3-D centerfold.

Just what the world needs, 3D porno.  In the old days before pornography became institutionalized, the raciest things people got to see in print were the fabled “french postcards”.  These were often grainy images of women in provocative poses which in those days was pretty spicy stuff.  With the proliferation of crude and vulgar images obtainable from literally anywhere these days, Playboy’s introduction of 3D centerfolds to their magazine is like adding color to the old french postcards, or  bringing a bikini to a nudist colony. 

 Hugh Hefner was the premier purveyor of post pubescent pulchritude,  but the times have passed that whole business by.  During a time when morality was still an issue with society, access to images of nude women was pretty hot stuff.  While the new feature will no doubt attract those hormonally charged young boys as well as curiosity seekers, this idea will not add any more to the fading cachet of Playboy than if they gave away images for free.  Silly me, they already DO that.  While no doubt the gals who pose for the magazine are undoubtedly comely, the fact is there are thousands if not millions of gals who are willing to do the same thing and whose images can be obtained for free.  Seems like a failed business model to me.  Unlimited supply, free of charge…hmm.. 

Who actually reads Playboy anymore? During its heyday, no doubt the magazine benefited much by the rising tide of liberalism that swept the west and in many ways contributed to that trend.  At one time a self described  reference manual for the avant garde male, it professed to offer guidance on all  matter of lifestyle issues.  Today however, it’s difficult to imagine the average 18 or 20 year old taking cues from Playboy on how to dress, what to listen to, or how to live. 

The main thing exposed these days at Playboy besides gals is their true raison d’etre: to hawk goods.  Playboy exists  to market their own brand of products, whether it be magazines, videos, cuff links, mugs or whatever tchotchke you can name with the Playboy logo.  At its heart is still the core of offering images of nude women.  Whatever attendant philosophy was behind that has,  like the clothes of these gals, long been cast off.   The Playboy Philosophy once offered as a noble accompaniment to the girly shots is like the founder, pretty much a relic of another era.  While he was a genius for seeing the need for his magazine in the late 50’s, we’re now in the 21st century.  Nice try on the 3D boobs, but I think it’ll meet the same fate as scratch ‘n sniff.

link White House Task Force Seeks Fight on Childhood Obesity – Political Hotsheet – CBS News.

War on two fronts in the middle east.  Crushing government debt loads in all nations.  Out of control health care costs.  U.S. immigration showdown. Nuclear arming of rogue states. Calamitous oil gusher in gulf of Mexico.  Stubbornly high domestic unemployment.  These will now take secondary consideration by the White House now that “Childhood Obesity” is now the crisis du jour.

The steady march continues in the erosion of personal freedoms and responsibilities as the government officially dubs fat kids a crisis that requires government intervention.  We know how this will play out because we’ve seen it all before in other crisis du jours from the recent past.  Slick marketing and propaganda machinery will be employed to convince the public that such a thing actually exists, similar to global warming.  No doubt, nutritionists/pathologists and psychologists will be employed to plead the case to the general public.  In co-ordination, Hollywood will be engaged to champion the cause to fertile and naive minds.  Remember Sally Struthers years ago with her doe eyes pleading for money to feed hungry children?  Now it’ll be the opposite.  We’ll have washed up stars pleading with kids to forgo the big mac, the slurpee or the fried chicken.  It won’t be Sean Penn, he already has a cause, communism, so it will have to be someone with some kind of respect. 

I”m sure they’ll find someone suitable, after all, Hollywood is full of people living healthy normal non addictive lifestyles.  I can even think of slogans for any rappers who care to champion the cause.  “Do da weed, dis da feed”, or ” bein’ big fat, ain’t where it at”.  How about more mainstream slogans, ” eat like a bird, pass on thirds”.  An entire new industry is created to “help the kids”.  Telethons, marathons, bowl-a-thons, sing alongs, everything except eat-a-thons to encourage food abstinence.

As any experienced parent knows, to forbid any activity from your children is an open invitation for them to do exactly the opposite. Years of admonitions not to use narcotic drugs has only ballooned the size of the population doing them, so much so that it’s a mainstream phenomenon, not the isolated activity a few dopeheads participated in 30 years ago.  Oddly, while cigarette smoking has managed to reach pariah status, the smoking of marijuana is an acceptable activity.   When the new food nazis arrive, rebel kids can be found lurking in groups beyond the school grounds sneaking and sharing tubs of fried chicken with gravy. 

So in this new campaign to encourage thinnner kids, fat kids will be subject to even more ridicule and derision.  Not only that, but their parents will be exposed to an entirely new social dynamic as their children are compared to each other at parties like status symbols.  “My little Johnny has only 1% body fat, we only feed him kibble once a day”.  Parents of fat kids will not showcase them at parties, pretending that they are off at law school somewhere.

Speaking of law, that is the logical extension of how this campaign will roll out.  Initially, restaurants and purveyors of food deemed “not acceptable’ by some bureaucracy will need to have special licenses to operate.  The second stage is to make kids carry licenses or permits to carry certain kinds of food. 

“Can I see the permit for that bucket of chicken son?”

“Uh, I left it at home..”

“Please come with me, you can call your parents from the jailhouse”

And so the criminal population grows…..