As IF Times

link Shanghai Is Trying to Untangle the Mangled English of Chinglish – NYTimes.com.

We’ve all encountered the cryptic instructions enclosed with some electronic items made in Asia.  While China, Taiwan and Korea have caught up with and perhaps even surpassed the West in manufacturing capability, their levels of English can still linger somewhat in the pigdin stage, at least when it comes to instructions.  It’s actually amazing that anyone notices since most men and probably a lot of women generally don’t read instructions anyway.  Obviously, the manufacturers must think the same way as most consumers of electronic devices:  Plug it in, turn it on and voila. 

Some devices however are not that intuitive.  Take for instance video cameras.  While at first glance, the controls may look simple, the reality is, one main button can actually be a multi function control stick requiring the operator to toggle through vast menus of items before arriving at the required mode.  What this amounts to is an electronic I.Q. test.  So you have to consult the instructions unless you happen to have a 12 year old kid handy.  Quite often, you’ll find the instructions in varying degrees of mangled English or Chinglish as it’s been dubbed.  While some may find this a reason to tsk tsk the manufacturers, I consider it free entertainment that comes with the device.

Somebody else apparently feels that way too.  The guy referenced in the linked article, Oliver Radtke, is on  mission to preserve Chinglish rather than expunge it as bureaucrats are trying to do for the World Expo in Shanghai.  Like myself, he finds maladaptations of the Chinese to English translation amusing and culturally unique.   According to the article, he is even pursing a master’s degree in Chinglish from, where else, the University of Heidelberg,  a logical place to study Chinese culture. His thesis is that Chinglish gives a unique peek into the Chinese mind.  I’m not so sure about that, but some of the signs posted in public places are blunt and refreshingly candid about things which we here in the west have sanitized or euphemized through political correctness.  In fact, I defy anyone to explain the logic and clarity of most legal documents.  Anyone in doubt can just pick up a mutual fund prospectus. 

From Google, a small sampling of the jewels to be found in Chinglish:

This particular one even pays homage to this site!

While amusing and in some cases, refreshingly so, the west is well on its way to mangling the English language as well.  I mentioned legalese above which is by far the main perpetrator, but let’s not forget Ebonics and teenagers, two major sources of language assassination.  Try to translate “whatup” or “whatever” into real English.  At least the Asians have an excuse, English is not their first language.

link  Miami airport screener accused of attack after jeers at genitals – Miami-Dade – MiamiHerald.com.

You know this had to happen.  Previously I expressed that what they should really do is to have the images on public display for amusement to pass the time while being forced to shuffle forward a foot at a time like sheep in the airport lineups.   In fact as the recent NY bombing incident seems to show again, I’m not sure why they keep up the charade of screening people with current methodology at all.  The guy who is a “suspect” in the Times Square bomb attempt actually got on board a plane even though apparently he was on a  no fly list.  Somehow the undie bomber got on board a plane at Christmas time and he also was on a no fly list.

The only people airport scanning seems to inconvenience and catch are those carrying bottles of lotion or packets of gum.  So now, we have an institutionalized system in place that:

a.  is inconvenient to all of the public

b. is expensive as far as hiring all the crack security clerks

c. is expensive as far as the high tech machines involved

d. does not filter out those it should filter

e. is a source of entertainment for the staffers

It gets even worse.  If you think about it, the ‘authorities’ didn’t even catch the perps in both the cases mentioned, it was the public that brought them to attention.   So why bother with the elaborate charade to show people how secure they really are when they are better able to protect themselves without official help?  

The biggest obstacle to many of the ills facing us today are perpetrated by those in government that seek to placate the larger public while not offending a very small few, in many cases, casting  aside common sense  We’re willing to traumatize, inconvenience, embarrass, harass average people but unwilling to take a hard line against actual thugs.  Presently, the headlines are filled with bleating about the racial nature of Arizona’s toughened illegal alien laws, laws which only serve to underline existing federal laws. 

There are an estimated half million illegal immigrants in that state.  Surprisingly 99.999% are likely illegals from Mexico.  Associated crime from this constituency is out of control.  If you’re going to have a crackdown on enforcement of border issues, where do you look?  If people cannot even be allowed to use common sense in their decision making, there truly is no hope.  This logic brings to mind the old joke:

“…Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.  And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.  It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou.   But I think it’s Colin…”