As IF Times

link My Way News – Defense, friends say Ore. bomb plot suspect set up.

The only comparison to the response of the idiots in Portland in the animal world are whale beachings.  In the case of whales, it’s believed that they only perform this act of suicide because of illness.  Beachings serve to end their suffering and speeds their death.  In the case of the Portland contingent who are rallying to Mr. Mohamud’s defense, I suppose they would benefit the rest of society if they too were to beach themselves.  Perhaps liberalism is an illness after all.

The only possible explanation for the crowd rallying in defense of Mr. Mohamud is because they have latent suicidal tendencies.  Of course, there are strong hints of this as reflected in their voting proclivities.  Portland is one of the most liberal places in the U.S..  Up to now, they are  the only city in America which does not cooperate with the FBI on homeland security issues. 

If you struck yourself on the head with a ball been hammer a few times, you may be able to see their position.  That is,  Mohamed Osman Mohamud was likely selected from the population by the FBI because Mohamed was a suspicious name.  I mean, outside of the UK, how many people have a name like Mohamed?  They planted the idea of blowing up people in his otherwise innocent brain and framed him for the glory of breaking a huge case.   Let’s face it, given an opportunity, anyone would be willing to arrange for drums of explosives to be delivered to crowded public place to be detonated at the most opportune time….purely for amusement.  They do it in Sylvester Stallone movies all the time.

The gentle citizens of Portland, rather than express outrage and relief that the plan did not go off as expected are instead chastising the FBI for apprehending an innocent kid.  Note to anthropology students; this is as close to beached whale suicide behaviour as it gets, followed closely by electing Jerry Brown and Barbara Boxer in California.  This is the equivalent of the fraternity hazing ritual of being paddled on your bare butt, whereupon you say, ‘thank you sir, may I have another?”  We only hope this innocent child recieves a fair hearing and the FBI excoriated for their police state tactics.  Go pick on real criminals; like the ones who don’t recycle.

link Spanish Woman Claims She Now Owns Sun.

I guess it rings hollow to claim that I thought of this years ago.  It took this shrewd, lucid woman to grab onto something so obvious.  Many will undoubtedly chastise themselves for not thinking of it first like the pet rock.   Of course, the really difficult part is not claiming ownership, it’s collecting the royalties.  I’m sure she’s thought out the logistics of having meters installed on top of every living thing on the planet which benefits from the sun’s rays.  No doubt she’s been planning this for years, possibly cornering the meter market.   Naturally, there will be those scofflaws who refuse to pay, but I’m sure most will be happy to at last have someone take charge of solar radiation.  At the very least, when it’s cloudy or cold, you have someone to lodge a complaint with. 

If I were her, I’d start gathering a crack team of lawyers because it’s only a matter of time before the global warming crowd are going to try to pin that on her property.  As far fetched as it seems now, the sun may have some role to play in this.

But suffice to say, the warning volley has been fired, the gold rush is on.  There are millions of obvious things that have yet to be claimed.  The atmosphere for instance.  Or water.  Fire; now there’s a good one.  As for me, I think I’ll put my claim in on the number “0”,  the color green and the expletive “oh f**k”.  Those that refuse to pay me royalties on these items can live a life of paying 9 cents plus 1, having no green on any of their  landscapes and having nothing to yell in pain when they smash their thumbs with a hammer.  I’m also thinking of claiming the most common punctuation point, the period, as well.  Without proper licensing of periods, the world would be subject to run-on sentences without conclusion.  Royalties from these few items should keep me in champagne and caviar for  a few decades, minus of course the royalties payable on these piddly items.  Capitalism and brains; just can’t beat the combo.

Next big battleground: the ownership fight for gravity.