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Venice is Flooding! Oh Wait….

December 11th, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

Source: Venice will vanish underwater within a century if global warming is not stalled, climate change study warns | The Independent

It’s so difficult to discern reality from satire these days that they may soon require disclaimers at the top of ‘news’ articles.  Who knew that editorial directions were converging at the New York Times, The Washington Post and The Babylon Bee?  They may as well work from the same office to save money and reduce their carbon footprint.

The majority of the supposedly sober news outlets continue to bleat about the weather, as if it was an imminent existential calamity. The weather.  The Climate Change (originally Global Warming) charade survives, stronger than ever actually, despite the passage of the doomsday time window  expertly calculated by renowned expert, Al Gore. It turns out he missed counting a finger during his complex calculus and so fortunately for all of us, we apparently have another (only) 12 years before buying green bananas and holding long term bonds is a bad bet.  Time magazine just named a 16 year old whiny hand puppet as their Person of the Year.  I didn’t even know Time magazine still existed.  They’re about as relevant to news as Mad Magazine, which sadly doesn’t really exist anymore.

Everything that’s out of the ‘usual’ can be traced back to Climate Change: polar bear counts, missing bees,  excessive crabs, wildfires in California and the Patriots losing at home. But the most recent impact of Climate Change was even more alarming: Venice flooded.

Yep, one of the most iconic tourist destinations in the world experienced  a surge of ocean water as a result of storms which caused shock to observers and residents alike….apparently.  Venice has never been a good place to rent a basement suite and hasn’t been for, oh…600 years! The city, which consists of a number of small islands connected by waterways, was built explicitly on shallow lands which were subject to flooding as a defense mechanism back in the day when that was necessary.  Somehow, over the ensuing years, residents acclimated themselves to their unique geography and in fact flourished as it transitioned from a commercial center to a tourist mecca selling more tchotchkes than pasta.

The Gondoliers who ply their trade in the city’s canals are iconic and their images are known throughout the world. People didn’t just recently create makeshift canoes and started charging 200 bucks a throw. They’ve been doing this for well over a hundred years.  It’s a profession.  There are schools for that vocation, licenes to be had, rules to follow.  Gondoliers did what their fathers did and they of course followed their fathers.  They adjusted to their environent.  It’s an MBA course in making lemonade from lemons.  In fact, if global warming is a thing, cities that may be subject to flooding should send scouts to Venice to figure out how to copy their model.

It’s chutzpah for these idiots to claim that Global Warming is the cause of Venice’s imminent demise. It’s like the old joke about a boy who kills his own parents and then throws himself at the mercy of the courts because he’s an orphan.  Venice has been around for hundreds of years and will continue for as long as the foundations hold in those waterlogged basements.  We can blame that on the city planners from 600 years ago.



  1. Christopher Erickson
    December 12th, 2019 at 03:54 | #1

    Love your wry sense of humour.
    Couple of other facts the Venice flood of 1966 was higher than the most recent… and many floods have happened before that, the worst being in 1825.
    I guess the cows had extra big farts in those days.

    Joking aside, people forget that land rises and subsides over time.

    Venice has been sinking for a long time. It has nothing to do with supposed the “Climate Change” proclaimed by the shrieking Greta Cult adherents!